My doctor says I have acute high blood pressure

I’m just glad it’s not ugly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost_ina_fantasy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Feeling deflated πŸ€”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/retrohgrade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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I had a job selling Power Washers...

but got fired because I wasn’t good at high pressure sales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Too much laxative is bad for you

It causes high mud pressure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Did you hear about the meteorologist who got fired?

The atmosphere at work was too high-pressure and lost his cool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crash8308
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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There was a man who scared of power washing

He couldn't stand the high pressure situation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simple_Canadian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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I just got hired as a deep-sea barometer!

It’s high-pressure work but someone’s gotta do it...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/z4chc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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My father-in-law: still dad-joking, even in the emergency room

While sitting on a gurney in the ER for chest pains (he's fine, just high blood pressure):

Doctor: So, what brought you here today? Father-in-law: The ambulance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/witty_username
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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My classmates are just hard to please

Since you guys enjoyed my dad moment in math class I thought I'd share my chemistry moment too.

So we are discussing atmospheric pressure and my teacher thought it be a good example to ask us to stand up to example how we can overcome the pressure. So everyone is standing and I remain sitting,

Teacher: so what's stoping you from standing up?

Me: Peer pressure

Followed by rejected high fives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irulehard2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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Airborn Dad Jokes

Sometimes I go flying with my dad who's a pilot. The other day we're approaching our home airport and dad radios the tower to get the weather. "Winds calm, barometer is 30.12 and rising." Without hesitation he quips "Sounds like we're heading into a high pressure situation, eh son?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/willymo
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
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