High pressure Puns

K, thanks!

You're so indie and cool.

I’m just glad it’s not ugly

A fat urologist.

It was carrying too much baggage.

But he can stop anytime he wants.

I want my life to have some porpoise.

This meteorologist worked at a very good news station. Good coverage, fantastic weather predictions.

One day, the meteorologist was sick. On the same day, the weatherman screws up his prediction. The next day, he goes to work.

His boss, fuming, asks: “where the hell were you?!” The meteorologist responds, “I’m sorry, sir. I was under the weather. I can’t predict that.” His boss responds, “Then what the hell am I paying you for?!”

It was not a breeze

My blood pressure, weight, cholesterol and lipid levels were all so high doctor told me I'm above 99% of the population in all these metrics.

but got fired because I wasn’t good at high pressure sales.

It causes high mud pressure.

The atmosphere at work was too high-pressure and lost his cool.

He couldn't stand the high pressure situation

While sitting on a gurney in the ER for chest pains (he's fine, just high blood pressure):

Doctor: So, what brought you here today? Father-in-law: The ambulance.

It’s high-pressure work but someone’s gotta do it...

Since you guys enjoyed my dad moment in math class I thought I'd share my chemistry moment too.

So we are discussing atmospheric pressure and my teacher thought it be a good example to ask us to stand up to example how we can overcome the pressure. So everyone is standing and I remain sitting,

Teacher: so what's stoping you from standing up?

Me: Peer pressure

Followed by rejected high fives

Sometimes I go flying with my dad who's a pilot. The other day we're approaching our home airport and dad radios the tower to get the weather. "Winds calm, barometer is 30.12 and rising." Without hesitation he quips "Sounds like we're heading into a high pressure situation, eh son?"