There are 30 cows. Twenty eight chickens. How many didn't?
Answer: 10
Do we really need a whole award for cinnamontography?
Iām not joking, but he is
Unbeelievable
A Southern minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol -Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke -Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service.
So I'm making a game, and the main character is a cat - and I'm looking for a name for him It's quite a humerus game, so a punny name like "Pawline" Or something along those lines would be nice...
(I'm never using Pawline btw)
I work at a summer camp where my ongoing joke is instead of doing activities we are going to real, eat vegetables and do math. one kid did not find it funny and asked why:
kid: why do we have to do math? Do you ever use it during summer?
me: sum times.
I repeated it with emphasis on both words for a bout a minute or so until his eyes rolled.
My coworker and I were talking:
Me: "You will definitely get your project done."
Him: "Word."
Me: some lame-ass comment acting like I'm still 12
Him: "No, I was meaning the Microsoft kind."
Me: "You really 'Excel'-led at that joke. It was on 'powerPoint'!" (Emphasis on point, not power).
He groaned, and went back to work
I was leaving for work and my son said he and my wife were going to build a sand castle in the backyard. I told him to make sure she took a picture of it because I wanted to see it. He replied "do you want her to... sand it to you?" (with the correct pause and emphasis). Then he started giggling. As I walked the house gathering my things for work, he followed me, repeating the joke another three times.
For some reason my entire family plays bingo every year on Christmas. And every time my dad draws and reads all the number-letter combos. And every year he waits patiently until he can say his favorite dad joke: Oh, thank goodness it's not malignant... (pause for emphasis) It's B9!
My Dad was explaining to the waitress that he and mom had gone to the rodeo earlier in the week and knew basically what to expect.
Me: (leaning in for emphasis) "So you're saying this isn't your first rodeo?"
So she said: "You should write 'Sammy' on the litter box."
Me: (Look at her dumbfounded for a moment, stutter mildly and speak quietly for emphasis, like how you would when telling a family member that a mutual loved one is very ill) "M-Mom...I..I don't think he can read."
Kid me: Dad, what is a nant? (put emphasis on the space between a and nant)
Dad: Ummmm....I think its some term for computer memory, like part of a byte or something. (this was the late 90s and he worked for a computer company so he was trying to sound smart)
Kid me: No, stupid, an ant, like the things that run around on ant hills.
Dad: Haha (internally wishes I was dead)
