When I turned into a teenager, my dad repeatedly emphasized the importance of using a condom whenever I have sex.

He said, β€œAnyone who would sleep with you would sleep with almost anyone else.”

πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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At an auction at a Tourette's syndrome charity, I won a bid for an origami sculpture of scissors made by Dwayne Johnson. To emphasize the charity's cause, he replaced a bad word with a family-friendly word on his origami scissors.

The Rock's paper scissors said "Shoot."

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I cannot emphasize enough how much I support scientists working towards creating an invisibility cloak.

I just want to make myself clear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
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”I don't like it when people emphasize words or phrases by following them with ”quote, unquote”.”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gargolito
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
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My friend insulted my puns. I responded with a showcase of my arsenal. I am pundeniable.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Russian_Moose
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?

Linoleum blown apart

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Just had a great moment in the car

My friends and I are all students attending OU. We were driving by our college, when...

Friend: "Hi school!"

Me: "No Samuel, that's college."

It took 30 seconds of me emphasizing/repeating the wording to get them to realize what I meant.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazybone820
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
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Want me to tell you water puns?

A pun is the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Got my wife as she offered to fill my glass with water. She scowled at me.

After filling her own glass, I responded, "Pour (emphasizing this word) favor!" She scowled then slightly laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nedotykomka
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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My son (3.5 years old) got me today

He likes drinking yogurts. Normally he drinks them from the bottle, but this time he asked me for a straw.

"Why do you want a straw?"

"Because it is a strawberry yogurt!" (he emphasized STRAW in strawberry and grinned).

Probably his first dad joke ever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/korovko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2016
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After 24 years of life, my dad finally got me...

Context: English isn't his first language, and he isn't the greatest at writing it (When He Wants To Emphasize Something, He Capitalizes The First Letter). He usually has me read over his important emails before sending them.

me: "Dad, you capitalize everything"

Dad: "What can I say, I'm a capitalist"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AtoZZZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2015
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Got me twice in 10 seconds...

My dad keeps some hand sanitizer on-hand next to him in his car. As my dad was driving, I saw that there was a bit of hand sanitizer that had spilled onto his cup holder.

Me: Hey dad, did you spill purell?

Dad: P-U-R-E-L-L.

Me: What?

Dad: You asked me if I spelled purell, but I didn't so now I did!

Me: groans Okay Dad, did you spill purell?? [Emphasized pronunciation of word]

Dad No I didn't spill purell... because that's germ-x.

Me: groaning intensifies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JIKAN_DESU
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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My dad told our neighbor this a while back, after she had complained about our dog.

My dad: "Do you know why he barks so much?"

Her: "No...?"

My dad: "Because he can't meow!"

He frequently tells this story with a huge grin on his face, as he emphasizes that she didn't get the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exaggerated_Dane
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
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