I'm going to open a clothing alteration shop that focuses on doing all jobs within an hour.

It will be called, Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2016
🚨︎ report
I took my boys to the traveling circus and told them to keep their focus on the biggest pole...

...because that's the center of a tent son.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Hard to keep Track of stuff
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography

Turns out I can’t focus!

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t lose your Focus
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wcollins260
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend gave me a butt massage today, but only focused on one cheek...

It was very half-assed

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arteminxx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I got this new book focusing on space and antigravity

β€˜Is it any good?’

I can’t put it down

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onemangang15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I work at a facility focused on helping drugged animals

This duck came in and I swear he was on quack

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DREAD1432
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the sushi said to the bee?

Wasabi

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha_Supreme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I've heard they just launched the new reptilian-focused aid programme.

They called it Gatorade.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avohka
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta

Now it’s a Ford Focus

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/racas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a business focused solely on transporting Capra aegagrus hircus. We'll have slings, bags, and more.

It's called Totes My Goats!

(Capra aegagrus hircus is the scientific name for goats)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I got called pretty today.

...well, actually, the full statement was β€œyou’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.

πŸ‘︎ 583
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone has lost their focus!
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaddyDawsonUser1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was a wee lad, my thoughts were focused on the number 144.

I was engrossed

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How do monkeys solve employee focus decline issues?

Transfer them to a different branch

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a combination between a Ford Fusion and a Ford Focus?

A Ford Fusion

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleSugar64
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Drinking coffee out of a lens mug helps me to focus...
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatokingXII
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I quit making payments on my Ford compact automobile

Now, I have completely lost my Focus.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Loosing your focus
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_second_choice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I was trying to watch a movie but I kept sneezing so much I couldn’t even focus

That’s what I get for being allergic to Cats

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Patient: I think I have ADHD I can’t remember where I parked my Ford. Doc: That doesn’t really mean anything... Patient: But I keep losing my focus
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's go ride bikes!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
In my opinion, the best people focus on themselves.

There's no comparison.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one...

Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmyd931
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Ford Focus
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Lost focus
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hondarave
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Ford Focus
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NTilky
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I think my camera has ADHD...

It just can't focus!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trashconverters
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My ex is going through a hard time so I decided to send a food-focused care package.

Fed Ex.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smolprincess928
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
It's too bad about the guy that overreacted after falling into a lens-making machine.

He truly made a spectacle of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabiker68
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
This bee out of focus
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M0useRatFan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
🚨︎ report
To help me focus on working, background music is instrumental

Mostly because I'd get distracted if there were vocals

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillKay10
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Visionaries
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seawavegown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What would an association run by professional nuns focus on?

Pronunciation.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stitch1294
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
[At the therapist’s office] β€œSometimes I really have trouble focusing on my job!”

Patient: That’s great, but we are here to talk about my problems!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you send a kid with ADHD during the summer to improve their focus?

Concentration camp

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwvrie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Palm readers are great at focusing on the matter at hand.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you ready for the upcoming Zoom meeting?

Not even remotely.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakinana
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: Don't drink water if you're trying to focus.

It will reduce your concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icecreep109
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
After explaining to his parents that he was going to drop out of med school and instead focus on being a mime,

they said, "you don't say!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new TV station focusing on Oceanography and Linguistics?

It's called the English Channel

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said I'm pretty

Well, she actually said, "You're pretty annoying", but I choose to focus on the positive things.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stilekid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
β€œDoc, I think I might have ADHD, because I can’t remember where I parked my Ford!”

Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.

Man: But I keep losing my Focus!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDoc, I think I have ADHD. I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.”

Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.

β€œBut I keep losing my Focus!”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I left adderall in my Ford Fiesta

Now it’s a Ford Focus

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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