Here's Not Here Puns

A list of puns related to "Here's Not Here"

There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.

It's a faux pa.

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👤︎ u/viky_boy
📅︎ Nov 05 2020
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Here’s a little early access to a pun I made. I’m not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
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👤︎ u/Kyledreeling10
📅︎ Dec 16 2020
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Not enough Christian furry cat puns around here.
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👤︎ u/nukes_or_aliens
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Not mine but it might fit here. /r/Jokes/comments/k2mw84/…
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👤︎ u/maecky1
📅︎ Nov 28 2020
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I did not HERE that
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👤︎ u/raghav50w
📅︎ Sep 06 2020
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Not mine. So should be here /r/Jokes/comments/j2vfxl/…
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👤︎ u/jcbknght
📅︎ Oct 01 2020
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Just found this store by chance called Ollie’s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here. reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
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👤︎ u/KORZILLA-is-me
📅︎ Aug 29 2020
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I’m not sure if this has been posted here before
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👤︎ u/mileslikesmemeslol
📅︎ Jun 20 2020
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Well she's not here today so I can risk it!
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👤︎ u/orlanthi
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?

Punchline

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👤︎ u/Tippopotamus
📅︎ Jun 01 2020
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Trying not to mention the favourite part of my living room here

I think I've done well sofa

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👤︎ u/sunsetskies_
📅︎ Jul 30 2020
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Ever since my sex change my son acts like I’m not here...

Maybe it’s because I’m trans-parent

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👤︎ u/Bennyblueberry
📅︎ Sep 14 2020
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May be here may not all I know is we need zylophone
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👤︎ u/glitchomojo
📅︎ Apr 13 2020
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Not mine but I definitely think it belongs here. /r/Jokes/comments/ixvogb/…
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👤︎ u/timmorris82
📅︎ Sep 23 2020
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"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.

"Like a bra, not a braai"

  • Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.

  • Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans

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👤︎ u/wcsoon
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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I am not sure if this goes here
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👤︎ u/gwgwsdaman
📅︎ Jul 24 2020
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This fan has been here for 3 weeks and still not shipped
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👤︎ u/BeastScar
📅︎ Jun 06 2020
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not sure if this belongs here, m‘kay
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👤︎ u/skizzoat
📅︎ May 15 2019
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Not sure if this belongs here but... /r/Jokes/comments/i9e6jq/…
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👤︎ u/Mat_Cauthor
📅︎ Aug 14 2020
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I’m not a dad but here’s my best shot.

What does a depressed cowboy say?

Yee-nah

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👤︎ u/BulbaFriend2000
📅︎ Jul 02 2020
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Not sure if this belongs here..
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👤︎ u/DreamSeer95
📅︎ Feb 11 2020
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Not a pun per se, but thought that it belonged here
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👤︎ u/thatShanksguy09
📅︎ Jul 01 2019
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Not sure if this belongs here
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👤︎ u/wisdomsharerv2
📅︎ Jan 14 2020
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Not my first pun but second pun here. Don't WINE about my Photoshop skills.
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👤︎ u/c_lassi_k
📅︎ Feb 06 2020
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Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
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👤︎ u/dannyp433
📅︎ Dec 21 2018
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Punisshable offence to not share this here
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👤︎ u/pornsTaR_420
📅︎ Apr 20 2019
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Might not be the appropriate place for this, but here is a bold take

Take

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👤︎ u/midget_messiah
📅︎ Feb 28 2020
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Alright. I know spam is not allowed. But this will be the last time I post this here. v.redd.it/a1sp6in02oc31
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👤︎ u/Anonyrabbit
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
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Idk if this has been shared here yet or not /r/Jokes/comments/fnjxd1/…
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👤︎ u/I_Kno_De_Wae
📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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I'm here to make a serious complaint about my local subway. Generally they do a good job, but I today I did an online order (so I didnt SEE them make anything). I didnt unwrap it in the store to check (because who does that), but when I got home it was absolutely not what I ordered.

Sorry, wrong sub.

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👤︎ u/johnblu5
📅︎ Feb 13 2020
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I'm not a dad, but I pulled this on my sister and achieved a groan. So here it is!

*Me entering my sister's room and see her studying.

Me: "What's up? Wanna play Halo?"

Sis: "I want to but I can't. My exams are coming."

Me: "Then don't open the door!"

Sis: *groans

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👤︎ u/Chanzy94
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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Not mine, but it deserve to be here
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👤︎ u/HamsterLarry
📅︎ Jan 05 2020
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We should make it a rule not to post any jokes about the un-employed here

They just don't work

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👤︎ u/manchuck
📅︎ Nov 13 2019
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Not sure if this has been posted here before. I found it on Facebook cause I suck.
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👤︎ u/Shiny_Shaymin18
📅︎ Oct 28 2018
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Not much to see here, just a boring machine.
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👤︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
📅︎ Nov 04 2019
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Not sure if this is a repost but here you go anyway!
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👤︎ u/JustANormalReadee
📅︎ Sep 28 2019
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Intentional or not, I suggest it belongs here.
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👤︎ u/ihaveabaguetteknife
📅︎ Dec 10 2019
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Not sure if this one fits here.

1

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👤︎ u/R4V3NX
📅︎ Feb 11 2020
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Not mine but thought it deserved that be here
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👤︎ u/wakkyandbrakky
📅︎ Mar 16 2019
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Not quite sure if it belongs here but anyways
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👤︎ u/hotrollins
📅︎ Jun 27 2019
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Not sure if this has been posted here yet
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👤︎ u/ThatWuz2EZ
📅︎ Sep 25 2019
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Not sure if this fits here, is funny or has the sciencing right, but here goes... What do you get if you combine Uranium-235 and potatoes?

Fission chips.

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👤︎ u/fionfeegle
📅︎ Sep 19 2019
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Not sure if this fits here but I'll try

A guy wanted to ask a girl to prom.

He wanted to do it right and give her flowers so he went to the flower shop where there was a line.

So he had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

He got the flowers, asked the girl, and she said yes. Then he had to get a tux for prom. So he went to the tux shop and there was a line.

So he had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

Then he got his tux and it fit perfectly. He wanted to get the girl a corsage for prom. He went back to the flower shop and there was a line.

So he had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

He got the corsage and gave it to the girl. Then they went to prom and there was a line at the door.

So they had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

They got in and danced for some time. But all the dancing made them thirsty, so the guy decided to go get some punch.

He walked over to the punch bowl.

There was no punchline.

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👤︎ u/SebastianClark13
📅︎ Sep 15 2019
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Not sure if this has been put on here before...

A man fancies himself skilled at writing puns, so when a local newspaper offered $5000 to whomever could write the best pun, the man thought he'd make some quick cash. He spent the next day writing puns and picked out the ten best ones to send in to the newspaper. He figured that at least one of the ten he submitted would win, but sadly, no pun in ten did.

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👤︎ u/Shinnaminbuns
📅︎ Aug 06 2019
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I bet there's not mushroom here for puns like this.
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👤︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
📅︎ Nov 09 2017
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