Heavy lifting with cranes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knorke3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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I heard about the heavy lifting bread

He can lift croutons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mcklauster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Heavy lifting

So, my grandfather passed away in November and my brothers and I were recalling old stories and this one came up.

He just had surgery on his back and after surgery he had this conversation

Doctor: So, you won't be able to do any heavy lifting for about a week

My grandfather looks at him with a look of concern on his face and says: But doc, how am I supposed to go to the bathroom?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatsuite4life
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2014
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She probably said, "Let's weight"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crypt0sh0t
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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I took my dog to the vet.

I took my Rottweiler to the vet because it’s cross eyed, he lifted it up to look at it then said:

β€œI’m going to have to put this dog down.”

β€œWhat!? Why!” I exclaimed. β€œBecause it’s cross eyed?”

β€œNo, because it’s heavy”. He replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HorrorANDComedy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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I like doing group projects with bodybuilders.

They do all the heavy lifting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zlekingoforks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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So my dad and I were moving a bedroom set for my grandmother as she was moving into an assisted living home. There was this heavy dresser and my dad said β€œLet’s tackle this now rather than later” I looked at the dresser, back at him, back to the dresser, and I said

There was this heavy dresser and my dad said β€œLet’s tackle this now rather than later” I looked at the dresser, back at him, back to the dresser, and I said β€œId rather lift it”

He gave me a funny look and sighed. My brother in law laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nakedurlrobot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Came up with this talking to my dad.

He was telling me to do some heavy lifting for the summer. He said, "It'll put some lead in your pencil" I said, "If only I had someone to write to"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fogs4life
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
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A compilation of my dads terrible jokes

After seeing Taken:

"Taken? More like this movie has taken all my money!"

After seeing Final destination 5:

"Final Destination? More like, My Final destination is out of the movie theater!"

"Wanna know what my favorite part of the movie was? The credits!"

"The back of my eyelids were more entertaining than that movie."

After telling him about a Slayer concert:

"Slayer? More like, this band is gonna slay all my money!"

After telling him my favorite musical genre is heavy metal:

"Well, i hate heavy metal. I can never lift it!"

These are just a few

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tardersauce12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
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Dad's take on computers.

Every once in a while, my dad will lift his laptop, make a grunting sound and say, "This computer has become too heavy, can you delete some files."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/automaticshotgun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
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Moving furniture upstairs

My friends and i were moving a heavy dresser upstairs. We would say "One, two, three, LIFT!". He watched from the bottom of the stairs and shouted, "Try countin to two now! Youll get there in half the time!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daystarxc1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2014
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