How do homes strike up a conversation?
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︎ May 09 2021
A good way to strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Lightening never strikes coffee beans
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︎ May 15 2021
What should you do if your nose goes on strike?
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house.
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.
"Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.
"Yeah? What?" She responded.
"Was that you?" I called back.
After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"
I could not stop laughing.
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Clock tower maintenance workers are going on strike!
βItβs about high time,β commented the union representative.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I launched the bowling ball down the lane and got a strike.
I've since been banned from the swimming club.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
Today I learned the Easter candy workers went on strike in 2016...
They chanted βNo justice, no Peeps!β on the picket line
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
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︎ Dec 29 2020
What Happens If You Are Sitting on the Toilet at 11:59 and the Clock Strikes Midnight?
Same shit, different day.
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︎ Oct 07 2020
If Abraham Lincoln had gone on a hunger strike there would have been an Emaciation Proclamation.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Shout out to the guy who just got a third strike in baseball.
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︎ Nov 07 2019
The Empire shall strike back!
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︎ Aug 23 2020
What did the lungs say to the bladder when they went on strike
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︎ Aug 23 2020
I just read an early draft of The Empire Strikes Back...
...Yoda originally spent part of his exile as a shepherd.
All the sheep, Dagobah.
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︎ Jul 29 2020
History has shown that during the Cold War, the US warheads feared a Soviet nuclear strike
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Strike one
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︎ Mar 23 2019
So I was on a flight the other day when they guy next to me asked me if I heard of βbird strikes.β
I honestly didnβt think they could hold signs.
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︎ Apr 21 2020
How do meteorologist track lightning strikes?
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︎ Feb 04 2020
The last drone strike was brutal
They stopped working for a month
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︎ Jan 07 2020
brother-in-law strikes again!
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︎ Apr 01 2018
Why will my dad take his glasses off as soon as the clock strikes midnight this New Year?
So he can say he now has 2020 vision.
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︎ Dec 04 2019
DENTISTS ARE ON STRIKE!
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︎ Jul 18 2019
My Russian friend is on strike down at the napkin factory.
He's in the serviette union
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︎ Oct 27 2019
What do you call it when you strike a cow with a snow globe?
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︎ Nov 18 2019
If the typist goes on strike,
Is it called the typing rebellion?
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︎ Dec 21 2019
The count is two balls, one strike.
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︎ Aug 31 2018
Rocket man strikes again.
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︎ Jan 25 2019
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
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︎ Jul 16 2019
Who calls balls and strikes at the annual Vatican softball game?
The Holy Roman Umpire!
... sorry.
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︎ May 12 2015
Guess what kinds of shirts the terrorists wear in Counter Strike?
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︎ Feb 05 2019
While discussing Jordan conducting air strikes on ISIS
Dad: Did you hear about how Jordan has been bombing ISIS?
Me: Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
Dad: I know... So do you think Jordan's Air Force is called "Air Jordan"?
Me: :-/
Dad: They probably have the Nike logo on their jets.
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︎ Feb 08 2015
Our sanitation workers going on strike...
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︎ Aug 22 2018
Every year on New Year's Eve, when everyone's counting down the final 10 seconds to ring in the new year, I get up off the couch and stand up. I stand up and raise my left leg and just leave it raised for a little while until the countdown finishes and midnight strikes
that way I always start the new year off on the right foot
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︎ Nov 30 2018
Did you hear about the two wealthiest gold mines that went on strike?
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︎ Jun 30 2019
Are you smart? Then tell me. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to repair the clock.
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︎ Mar 09 2018
I was socializing with a new coworker, when she said: βyou strike me as a dad.β
I said: βHold on there, I wouldnβt hit you whether I had kids or not.β
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︎ Jun 21 2018
When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike
People would routinely bring him bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.
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︎ Sep 22 2018
I told my wife that I was going on a hunger strike.
I am going to make sure there is always food available.
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︎ Apr 16 2019
Orthodontists are going on strike
Orthodontists are going on strike.
Brace yourselves!
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︎ Feb 07 2019
I was just about to think of a bowling joke, since I know that would strike a chord with all you βdads,β but
I thought iβd spare you the trouble.
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︎ Jul 22 2018
What kind of vegetable doesnβt get a strike when bowling?
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︎ Apr 07 2019
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
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︎ Sep 17 2018
When the midwives all went on strike...
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︎ Feb 03 2019
Did you hear about the mimes who went on strike?
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︎ Aug 31 2017
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st be sure to lift your left leg.
That way you will start the new year off on the right foot.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
If you are sitting on the toilet pooping starting at 11:59 and the clock strikes midnight...
It's the same crap, different day.
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︎ Sep 26 2019
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
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︎ Jun 16 2019
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