My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
My 8yo daughter made me proud and came up with this: I don't get why pirates go around on boats...
They should be in the arrrrmy
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
How does a deck of cards get around?
It shuffles.
(a true dad joke, from my 9-year old)
My boys were arguing about who would get to drive the go-kart around the track...
I told them, "You guys should take turns".
WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN
How do shellfish get around London?
Why do people get nervous around stoned beef?
Because the steaks are high.
What’s the best vegetable to have around when you get a flat tire?
How does a British woodworker get around?
What do you call a snail that gets around a lot?
How do South Americans get around in the air?
How did mathematicians get around restrictions of prohibition?
They drank their root beer out of square cups!
How do cows get around? The moove.
What's Harry Potter's favorite way to get around? Walking.
I'm known to procrastinate when I get around to it.
My friend started to get rowdy and throw around bread...
I had to read him the rye-ot act
How did Luke get around while on Endor?
My government teacher always said he was gonna get around to it. Well I guess he finally did.
I want to get a tattoo of Texas around my butthole
Cause you don't mess with Texas
How does a queen bee get around her hive?
My town recently elected a horse as Mayor, and I’m worried nothing will get done around here
*Sitting around the campfire with the fam, roasting hotdogs* You'd better eat that hotdog before it gets cold.
Me: Because then it would be ..... a chili dog.
This term kinda gets tossed around
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
Do you know why there is a fence around a cemetery? People are dying to get in there.
When my circular friends get depressed, I tell them that they may not be around in the future.
Do you know why nobody wants to be around when clock-makers get to working?
How do you get around when you have no car?
Do you take your Lamborfeeties, your Chevorlegs, or do you catch the Shoelace Express?
Square-dancing is a terribe way to get around.
We thought the priests and ghost hunters finally helped us get rid of the annoying ghost that would move our laundry detergent around in our laundry room the past year.
But then, this morning, I walked into the laundry room again and saw the Tides had turned.
Name idea for buttons you can press on your computer to get around programs faster.
imgur.com/ZR5eGBg
How does a pterodactyl get around?
Always carry around handcuff keys, it can get you out of cardiac arrest
My 6 year old pulled this one on me. “What do fancy lamas get driven around in?”
So My girlfriend and I were joking around and like normal I told a bad joke which ended with me going “ayyy” she responded “ohhhh” I retorted “eeee,” then “eyyye.” She didn’t get it. Then I said “youuu,”
All she could say was, “why?”
Why did Hans get beaten when people around him were happy?
Because, if you're happy and you know it clap your Hans.
My dad was a farmer and his cows would always get angry when he came around.
He said it was because he had beef with them.
An old couple sitting next to my boyfriend and I at Hibachi asked the chef when he'd begin to cook the food. He replied, "When I get around to it." The couple proceeded to hand him this.
I'll clean my room when I get around to it (my dad has these)
I get a weird feeling around people who aren't well…
I call refer to that feeling as my "sick sense"
I hope that joke wasn't too dull, but hey, it only cost six scents.
Not to be mistaken for a half dozen walking trees from Lord of the Rings… You know, Six Ents.
You don't need a sixth sense to know this can't go on forever.
How do you get around efficiently in Nazi Germany?
How does Caitlyn Jenner get around post sex change?
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
There's an email going around offering free processed pork gelatin and salt in a can, if you get this email, do not open it!
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