As my parents were leaving that night to have me fend for myself

Mom after the subject of dinner came up: "There's some Mexican in the fridge" My dad, with a look of shock, exclaims: "We better call the police then" My mother's face went from one of confusion, to realization, then one of much annoyance

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👤︎ u/Salemgod
📅︎ Oct 10 2014
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Made my SO groan with this one

My SO was telling me about this tree in her neighbor's yard that has little birds fall out of it every year and that they're not able to fend for their selves. The conversation then follows

Me: Must be hard for the birds being in a bad school district.

Her: What do you mean?

Me: The neighborhood has a terrible dropout rate.

She: rolls eyes

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👤︎ u/Amoebar
📅︎ May 10 2015
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