My friend and I were talking about another friend who became a preacher when he suddenly showed up seeking advice for his sermon...
I said, "well, speak of the devil!"
What do you call a revenge seeking crustacean?
42M with toilet paper seeking female with hand sanitiser ...
... for some good clean fun
What's more effective than a heat-seeking missile?
When a coin goes from Russia to the USA seeking asylum it is Metal Defecting.
My SO confessed to masturbating alone instead of seeking out sex with me.
Didn't see that one coming
Two men go to a job fair seeking employment [long]
They scan the room and approach the table of an available recruitment officer.
"Hello gentlemen, please have a seat and we can begin."
The two men sit in the chairs and pull up to the table.
"Now," says the recruitment officer, "hopefully we can find employment for both of you based on your prior work experience. We have a wide variety of jobs available. I'll ask you some questions and we can go from there."
The two men nod eagerly in agreement.
The officer turns to the first man.
"Can you tell me what you did for work before today?"
"I'm a pilot," the man replies.
"Oh, that's great," the officer exclaims, "I already know that we are definitely looking for pilots!"
He takes some notes and turns to the second man.
"And can you tell me what you did for work before today?"
"I'm a wood cutter," the man says in reply.
"Oh, dear," the officer says, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but we have don't have any positions like that. I'm afraid we can place your friend, but not you."
"That's impossible!" the man sputters in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing I can do." says the officer. "We aren't currently looking for any wood cutters."
"But that's insane!" the man shouts in frustration. "If I don't cut the wood, how is he supposed to pile it?"
Seeking "Dads' Night Out"-themed party help
For the past three years I've held scavenger hunts to celebrate my birthday. This year I've decided on the theme, "Dads' Night Out." Examples of items on last year's (non-dad-themed) list: "Play red light/green light with at least three strangers," "Switch pants with a stranger," and "Haiku written by a bartender." All items require physical, photographic or video evidence. What are your ideas for dad-themed items or jokes I can fit in here and there? Any other ideas on how I can make this year the best year yet would be appreciated.
I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament,
but good players are really hard to find.
Why are cheetahs bad at hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always spotted!
Whenever I assemble my IKEA furniture I always seek the advice of a friend.
Which part of a hospital is the best place to play hide and seek?
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it failed miserably.
Good players are hard to find.
Why can't Dalmatians play hide and seek?
Because they're always spotted.
I've decided to seek help for my irrational fear of speed humps...
I'm slowly getting over it.
I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital with my little kids...
...but they found me in the ICU.
Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
How do parents lose their kids in the mall?
Seriously, any tips are welcome
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
What’s the best city in Kansas to play Hide-and-Seek?
No-peek-a
Invented by an 8 year old.
I like to play this game with my daughter it's called "hide and seek."
She hides, and then I see how high I can count (out loud) before she gets annoyed and comes out to complain about the game.
Why can’t the leopard ever play hide and seek?
Because he’s always spotted.
My best mates and i played a game of hide and seek, it went on for hours
Good friends are hard to find.
Where do people go when they get hurt playing hide and seek?
Where do you take someone who's been injured while playing Hide and Seek ?
A cheetah would never win at hide and seek
Two hospitals were playing hide-and-seek. What did one hospital say to the other?
Attorney Lex Lawson seeks out elegant and luxurious cafes wherever he goes. He has been widely recognized as a persistent .........
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
I am addicted to seaweed....
Why did Loki throw a temper tantrum when he couldn't find his brother during a game of hide and seek?
Because he was a Thor loser
My church gives away pointy flags to those who ask forgiveness from a priest...
You should go there if you seek pennants.
My daughter wanted to play hide and seek in the dark. I said "That means I would only be able to find you using sound ...
Dalmatians must hate playing hide and seek.
Single man with toilet roll seeks single woman with hand sanitizer..
Looking for good clean fun!
I'm trying to organise a hide and seek tournament.
But good players are hard to find.
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.
Good players are hard to find.
I'm having trouble organising a hide-and-seek league.
Good players are hard to find.
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.
Good players are hard to find.
It would be impossible to host a professional hide n seek tournament
Since good players are hard to find
I've been trying to organise the World Hide and Seek Championships...
Good players are hard to find.
I tried organising a hide and seek tournament...
But I really struggled to find all the good players.
Why is organizing a professional hide-and-seek tournament hard?
It's hard to find good players.
Where is the worst place to hide in a game of hide and seek?
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete disaster.
Good players are hard to find.
I’m trying to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I’m having a lot of trouble.
Good players are hard to find.
I'm having trouble organising a hide-and-seek league.
Good players are hard to find.
I’m having trouble organizing a hide-and-seek league.
Good players are hard to find.
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.
Good players are hard to find.
Why was the cheetah bad at hide and seek?
Wherever she hid she was always spotted.
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