English Breakfast Puns

Man-at-tea!

They've drunken all of it already.

Sometimes when we eat breakfast together, I'll decide I want eggs - I usually take two or three. I live in a bilingual family - half French, half English. So I ask him, in English;

-Dad, do you want one or two eggs? -Only one. Un oeuf is un oeuf.

They had a work meeting last night, during which they discussed a new tea that was being introduced, an Irish Breakfast tea. For context, they already have a tea called English Breakfast.

Coworker: "What is the difference between the Irish and the English Breakfast teas?"

My girlfriend: "The accents."

So I brought in kolaches to the office this morning for breakfast. For those that don't know, they're basically bread rolls filled with egg, cheese and whatever else you want. One of my coworkers started talking about how they reminded him of some kind of cake "with M&Ms in it."

Except English isn't his first language, so he was saying it a little weird.

Him: "You can't bake a cake with M&M in it."

Me: "'Cause you'd kill him."

There was absolutely no reaction whatsoever, so I can't tell if people were just ignoring my awful joke or if just nobody heard me.