I've placed simultaneous orders for a rotisserie chicken on Uber Eats, and for an egg omelette on DoorDash
Looks like we're about to find out, once and for all, what comes first!
What do you eat for breakfast on cake day?
What do cats eat on their birthdays?
I just heard an announcement on a loud speaker outside my home saying, "If you invest 50$ just once, you can sit and eat for the rest of your life".
I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs.
My wife was commenting on one of our cats and its big belly. I said, "I don't get it. She eats protein all day...
...she's on Catkins."
(one of these days my wife's eyes are gonna get stuck in the eye-rolling position)
Why should you always eat eggs benedict at home on Christmas?
Because there's no place like home for the hollandaise.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes on your cake day?
Fat, you get fat!! You thought you’d get a pi joke on my cake day?!!
Why do we eat pie on Thanksgiving?
Because the pilgrims were pious.
... too bad they weren't Turkish
--
credit: my incredibly dad-like friend --
What time do you eat on leg day?
Looking to learn a bit more about the foods we traditionally eat on Thanksgiving...
Can anyone recommend a good bog about cranberries?
Whatever else you might do on Halloween, don't eat a ghost!
How do you eat when you're on a train?
My downstairs neighbor complains that whenever I eat Doritos on my porch, it gets all over him on his patio. As usual, he's exaggerating.
He just has a chip on his shoulder.
I eat spring onions before going on walks.
I like a little spring in my step.
What does a cat like to eat on its birthday?
My wife asked if I wanted to eat some of the chicken on the barbecue.
I told her that a chair would probably suffice
What’s the best type of pasta to eat on your own?
(fairly certain this is original) I'm out to eat with my girl and the server tells us to scan the barcode on the table to see the menu.
After taking our order and asking if we want anything else, I point at my phone and ask if she can leave us a menu just in case.
I think I wrote my first dad joke original on something new to this changing world!
Where do most people eat out on leap day?
At my church, every Sunday we eat apples and work on math problems.
Because God said to be fruit-full and multiply.
Be sure to buy some Pork Sausage to eat on Sunday
That's the best way to celebrate Ground Hog Day.
Man, I’m so hungry. What should I eat while I’m on reddit?
What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
Why do the people on diet eat snails?
Because they try to avoid fast food
what does a dad eat on a hot summer day?
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
What does an epileptic on a diet eat?
Which type of food is toughest on your body to eat?
Shellfish, you could really pull a mussel.
If a couple goes somewhere to eat fruit are they going on a date
What do you eat on the 5th of July
Independence day old pizza
What do birds eat on Cinco de Mayo?
What do you call it when you eat a waffle on a beach in California?
I didn't want to eat my food because I accidentally put too much ketchup on it.
I guess Heinzsight is 20/20.
Me: "What would you eat on a desert island."
Dad: "The sand which is there."
There's a cannibal on the loose who only eats people living under assumed names.
The media are calling him the Om Nom Nom de Plume.
I only eat eggs Benedict on a hubcap.
There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
If an infant learns to eat solid food on October 31st...
Does that mean they Hallowean?
What do Italians eat on Friday the 13th?
My friend sliced up an apple to eat and quickly hung the scraps on the wall. I looked at him like he was crazy.
He said, "What?! It's Decor!"
Why won’t I eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
What do you eat on payday?
What did the cat eat on a hot day?
Why should you not eat waffles on the beach in California?
Because you'll end up with a sandy eggo.
What do Italians eat for dinner on Halloween?
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