A list of puns related to "Diapering"
Changing his diaper is a whole new ball game.
That shit was so last year
Their products don't hold anywhere near the 22-37 pounds advertised on the package.
They're usually full of shit.
(new dad here; I didn't imagine so much shit can come out of such a small ass)
Yeah the lake is incontinent.
They are both designed to hold your shit
One wrong move and shit goes everywhere!
I told him that he’d go straight to jail. For mail pampering.
A shitload
Because they struggle within continents.
They call them diap-hims.
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
I said no, I’m just making shit up.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
It’s always just a matter of time until craps ruin my day
Shit’s expensive.
Just for shits and giggles
So I have used this joke religiously for many many years. My oldest 20, second 5 and then my baby girl is just over 18 months. Every time any of them need a new diaper.
“Alright looks like you’ve broke it, there’s a crack in it so you need a new butt.”
The two older ones still crack up and princess dances around when I say it.
(Yes that is a mighty big gap in ages and yes all the same mom)
We've tried everything, but it remains undie turd.
Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesn’t use Reddit). 😂
Da pens
'What are the reasons?'
'#1, and #2'
'Oh grandpa...'
'You don't understand. #2 was a solid one'
'Stoooop'
'And you should already understand #1, it runs in your genes'
He was #2 in the household pecking order.
The box says they are good for up to 14 pounds.
I don't want to make a quick, rash decision!
I got it for spare change
Always on my ass and usually full of shit.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Number one and number two
It was just a brief discussion.
But I think they are full of crap
Diapers come in sizes that are rated according to the baby's weight i.e. "up to 12 lbs". Every time my dad (grandpa to my kids) sees a pack of diapers he says " I don't think they'll hold that much ". Every. Single. Time.
Because it was in-continent!
European man
(Courtesy of my husband)
Butt up - butt up - butt up butt up butt up butt up butt up!
Hug HeeHees
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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