Date Night Puns

It was great. She’s a keeper.

But I’m not really into the possessive type.

(My brother‘s joke not mine)

What an underrated fruit.

I said, "I don't think it's that kind of book."

Netflix and Quill.

she was a neck-romancer

I knew that was a big red flag

A pokin' in Hoboken.

It was a gouda brooch.

I said no, it's a mandate

The farmer sits on his porch with his shotgun across his lap.

The first boy arrives and says, "Evening sir, my name is Freddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

The farmer looks the boy over, and says "sure sure, go on in"

The second boy arrives, and says, "Howdy sir, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're gonna see the show, is she ready to go?"

The farmer looks down at his shotgun, then back at Joe, and says "sure sure, go on in, she's ready"

The third boy arrives, and says, "Good evening sir, my name is Chuck..." KER-BLAM!

Air conditioner

I think I’ll stick to raisins.

I arranged a nice car, I acted like the worlds best son in law to her parents and I held open the door when we got to the venue. All in all everything went great. When we got to the party I asked if she would like something to drink, she said yes and I went to get us some drinks. When I got back and gave her the drink she said: "wow! That was fast" and I said that's because there was no punchline.

Do I come here often?

It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.

I told her that was the height of discrimination.

Netflix and chilis.

We just clicked.. -- Jimmy Carr

I guess you could say he's having a real bi-lemma.

Went ice skating, she was wearing gloves that were meant to resemble Koala bears. I told her they wouldn't let her in if she was wearing them. She looked at me, bewildered.. so I informed her that her gloves didn't meet the koalifications.

We're hanging out at the bar, and she accidentally drops her drink and spills it everywhere.

> Her: "I guess I've got a drinking problem" (solid Airplane reference)
Me: "Well, you clearly can't hold your liquor."

I tell her I'm flexible and touch my toes. She is not amused.

It's a really underrated fruit