A daily pun thread
I propose we start a daily competition.
Each day the winner of the pervious days thread provides the word for the day.
Then you lovely lot will go off into reddit and try make the best pun around that word/phrase you can, and link your best result in that days thread. The comment with the most up votes wins for the day. Only one pun per account per day.
Ill start with a relatively easy one:
Pun
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︎ Feb 05 2019
More daily puns from the Inversnecky Cafe in Aberdeen, Scotland.
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︎ May 21 2018
I have sex daily
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︎ Jan 03 2021
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex
But my wife insists it's for Dyslexia
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if sheβd had her medicine yet.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, βSo youβre de-Claritin that youβve had it already?β
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Peter Parker lost his photographer job at the Daily Bugle
Now he works in web development.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
We draw puns for each other daily.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Use daily
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︎ Jul 29 2020
A legit conversation today with my 2 1/2 year old son as we do our daily stroll past a train station that for once, has no trains stationed...
Son: Daddy, where is Thomas?
Daddy: I donβt know, mate.
Son: He must be working from home today.
Is this his first dad joke?? Strange what they must be picking up from conversations. Got me good.
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︎ Apr 25 2020
I give myself 30 minutes in my daily schedule to do abs.
I call that time period Crunch Time.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
My 16 year old son spilled wine while I was doing my daily breathing exercises..
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Julie Andrewsβ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread
Dβoh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
I'm so damn tired of these daily repetitive boring Herb jokes. Honestly..
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︎ Jul 12 2020
From the daily sign of the El Arroyo restaurant in Austin TX
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︎ Feb 16 2020
I almost missed my daily dough
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︎ May 21 2020
A local man shows up to his local Starbucks for his daily cup of coffee.
βGrande macchiato with oat milk, please.β
The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked βWhy are you wearing a surgical mask?β
βIβm notβ, said the barista, βitβs a coughy filterβ.
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︎ May 08 2020
I don't get it (Puns Daily calendar)
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︎ Jan 09 2020
What did the Minecraft developer say when he looked as his daily schedule?
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︎ May 02 2020
My stoner friend used my daily agenda notebook to roll up a joint.
He is now high on my list of priorities.
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︎ Mar 30 2018
This was an interesting pun from my daily life.
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︎ Nov 22 2019
With daily practice, the lumberjackβs musical ability improved
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︎ Mar 19 2020
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the Daily News! Get it?
Me neither, I get the Times.
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︎ Nov 06 2019
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
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︎ Nov 12 2019
I eat a lot of salt, but the WHO suggests consuming 2,000 mg of sodium daily.
I don't know what a band knows about health, but I take it with a grain of salt.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
Here's Your Daily Dose Of Encourage Mint!
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︎ Mar 19 2018
There was a drug dealer who had conditioned his men such that whenever the clock struck 12 at midnight, they would come to him for their daily stash.
And he was known as Pavlov Escobar.
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︎ Feb 01 2019
My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.
She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!
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︎ Sep 23 2019
I would visit this restaurant on the daily
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︎ Nov 07 2018
I have sex daily
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︎ Aug 02 2018
How do one armed people go about the it daily routines?
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︎ May 12 2019
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︎ Nov 04 2018
A group of kindergarteners stand single file, anticipating their daily juice boxes.
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︎ Nov 10 2018
I always wondered why my dog has to stop and sniff a ton of things for ages on our daily walks...
...and then it dawned on me she's just checking her peemail.
I suppose this morning's half-hearted squat to pee while moving was a reply-all.
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︎ Jun 18 2018
I wish I had a dollar for every Dad joke, turn of phrase, or play on words I manage to rattle off on a daily basis.
You know what they say though, "Punny doesn't grow on trees..."
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︎ Jun 05 2017
I sing on a daily Bass-is
Out of 20 Iβd say my singing level is like a tenor eleven.
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︎ Dec 11 2017
My dad used to get me and my little sister with this daily.
Before I could put my own shoes on I would always ask m dad for help and This was his response every damn time.
me "daddy can you put my shoes on please"
Dad. "I can but I don't think they will fit me"
Followed this my dad would laugh hysterically and me whining saying "Nooo on meeeeee".
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︎ Feb 28 2014
The motorists always got angry at the same place on their daily commute
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︎ Sep 14 2018
I email my kids Dad jokes daily, but they never seem to respond.
They probably installed Dadblock Plus.
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︎ Jul 17 2018
This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis
After lunch, walking back to the office with two of my colleagues. One of them is carrying a lemon. The other one asks him: "Do you want me to help you with that lemon? So I could be your lemonaide"
sigh...
...Now guess which of the two is a dad
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︎ Apr 26 2016
I've started writing my updates for my team's daily meetings in the form of a nineteen-line poem with two rhymes throughout, consisting of five tercets and a quatrain.
Alas, I'm not a very good poet.
In fact, my manager told me he's never seen such a wretched scribe of scrum and villanelle.
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︎ Aug 21 2017
How much does an active woman need to eat daily?
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︎ Jun 04 2018
Daily Special
Brexit tacos - leaves eu satisfied
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︎ Jun 24 2016
Not a dad, but this happens daily in my physics class.
Me: Hey, what are the units for power?
Friend: Watt.
Me: I said, what are the units for power?
Friend: Watt.
Me: No, I said what are the units for power?
Friend: JOULES PER SECOND
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︎ Nov 02 2014
Google Allo can schedule you dad jokes daily.
Google Allo comes with what they are calling Google Assistant. You can ask it to tell you jokes and so far they are all like dad jokes. What's more you can have it schedule a daily delivery at a certain time.
For example here are some:
> Why did the coffee taste like mud?
>> Because it was ground just a couple of minutes ago βοΈ
> How do you get over a fear of elevators?
>> Just take some steps to avoid them!
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︎ Oct 14 2016
I have daily sex
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︎ Jan 05 2021
I have daily sex.
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︎ Jul 04 2020
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.
My wife insists that it's dyslexia.
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︎ Jan 29 2018
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