My 5 year old told me this today - Dad, how does a farmer count all his animals in the barn?
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 26 2021
Count Ocula.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 23 2021
Iβve lost count of the times I forgot
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
I had a rooster that could count once...
π︎ 185
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
I once had a chicken that could count her eggs...
I named her Countchickula
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
Mrs. Dracula, from the living room: "Count Dracula!"
Count Dracula, from the basement:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
The Count
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
I had a hen who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathemachicken.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?
π︎ 217
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
Whats the one thing in life you can always count on?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
Do black and white count as colors?
π︎ 278
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
How do you call something that makes a lot of sense for people who know how to count if you dont?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
I've got a chicken who counts her own eggs....
π︎ 53
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.
He says, βuno, dos..β and then POOF he disappeared without a tresβ¦
π︎ 677
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Does this count?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
π︎ 22
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
A man goes to a beekeeper and asks for 12 bees. He counts, and sees he has been given 13....
βSir, you gave me an extra!β he says. The beekeeper replies βOh, thatβs a freebieβ
π︎ 157
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
It's the little things that count (also a T-rex's arms)
https://www.instagram.com/standup.trex/
https://preview.redd.it/9449vyyyj4f61.png?width=620&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f5d46a86d95447af0958da58a8583a00398e36f
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. βThatβs one too many!β says the customer.
The clerk replies βItβs a freebieβ
π︎ 23k
π
︎ Mar 11 2020
They should count all the people in this country that make $40k a year or less
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
So thereβs this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that heβd vanish on the count of three. βUnoβ βDosβ
And then he vanished, without a tres.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
My mom said this unknowingly but it still counts
So I was complaining about where I am in life and the path I have chosen she said
"Don't try to blame someone else for the road your on ....its your own asphalt"
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
What do you call an octopus that can't count?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
What did the German man say when asked if he could count past 8?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
A good title for a conservative news article a couple days ago when Trump declared βStop the count!β after Biden started making gains but Trump still couldβve shocked the world wouldβve been...
βTrumpβs Not Down For the Countβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Why do bottomless shoes count as Halloween decorations.
Because they have no soles.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
If I have the ability to count
Does that mean I have accountability?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Does this count as a pun?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
Did you hear the one about the Mexican Magician? He announced to his audience: "For my final illusion, I will make myself vanish on the count of threeβ¦"
"β¦ UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.
π︎ 283
π
︎ May 27 2020
I was wondering what's taking them so long to count all the votes in Nevada
But I realized it's because their work is Neva Dan
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Why do mission controllers count down on takeoff?
If they counted up the space shuttle would never take off.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
What do you call more turkeys than you can count?
A Gobbillion. Happy thanksgiving!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...
... He always avoid the stakeholders.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Does this count as a pun?.. it's my favorite thing I've ever created...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
I recently got a hen to regularly count her eggs
She's a real mathemachicken!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Did you hear about the French man who could only count to seven?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
How do you count cows?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
A Mexican magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three. He says βUno...Dos...β *POOF*
...he disappeared without a Très
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
How do you count cows ?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
How do you count cows
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
How does a farmer count his herd?
π︎ 70
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
How do you count cows?
π︎ 48
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
I had a hen who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathemachicken!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
A Spanish-speaking magician announced that would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos...." POOF!
He disappeared without a tres.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
What do you call a hen that counts her eggs?
π︎ 62
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
I had a hen who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathemachicken.
π︎ 169
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.