My 5 year old told me this today - Dad, how does a farmer count all his animals in the barn?

With a cowculator!

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π€︎ u/JonSnohthathurt
π︎ May 26 2021
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Count Ocula.
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π€︎ u/awesome_smokey
π︎ May 23 2021
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Iβve lost count of the times I forgot
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π€︎ u/bo_veytia
π︎ Dec 26 2020
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I had a rooster that could count once...

It was a mathmachicken

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π€︎ u/Mother_Flerken
π︎ Feb 28 2021
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I once had a chicken that could count her eggs...

I named her Countchickula

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π€︎ u/D-B-Zzz
π︎ Apr 27 2021
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Mrs. Dracula, from the living room: "Count Dracula!"

Count Dracula, from the basement:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..."

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π€︎ u/Phripheoniks
π︎ Apr 07 2021
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The Count
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π€︎ u/Ahydron
π︎ Oct 06 2020
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I had a hen who could count her own eggs.

She was a mathemachicken.

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π︎ Mar 20 2021
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What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?

A Mathemachicken

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π€︎ u/Locoboco2018
π︎ Jan 28 2021
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Whats the one thing in life you can always count on?

A calculator

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π€︎ u/B1RDS-ARENT-REAL
π︎ Apr 20 2021
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Do black and white count as colors?

It's a gray area.

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π€︎ u/Who_GNU
π︎ Jan 23 2021
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How do you call something that makes a lot of sense for people who know how to count if you dont?

Counterintuitive

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π€︎ u/Raaxen
π︎ Mar 10 2021
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I've got a chicken who counts her own eggs....

She's a mathamachicken.

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π€︎ u/VERBERD
π︎ Feb 08 2021
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.

He says, βuno, dos..β and then POOF he disappeared without a tresβ¦

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π︎ Nov 18 2020
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Does this count?
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π€︎ u/MiauMiauMoon
π︎ Dec 04 2020
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Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!

See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!

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π€︎ u/zsozso01
π︎ Feb 26 2021
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A man goes to a beekeeper and asks for 12 bees. He counts, and sees he has been given 13....

βSir, you gave me an extra!β he says. The beekeeper replies βOh, thatβs a freebieβ

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π€︎ u/MARKHENRY88
π︎ Nov 26 2020
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It's the little things that count (also a T-rex's arms)

https://www.instagram.com/standup.trex/

https://preview.redd.it/9449vyyyj4f61.png?width=620&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f5d46a86d95447af0958da58a8583a00398e36f

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π€︎ u/mondalengo
π︎ Feb 02 2021
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A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. βThatβs one too many!β says the customer.

The clerk replies βItβs a freebieβ

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π︎ Mar 11 2020
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They should count all the people in this country that make \$40k a year or less

Seems like common census

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π€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
π︎ Feb 13 2021
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So thereβs this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that heβd vanish on the count of three. βUnoβ βDosβ

And then he vanished, without a tres.

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π︎ Nov 14 2020
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My mom said this unknowingly but it still counts

So I was complaining about where I am in life and the path I have chosen she said

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π€︎ u/Oilspilpenguin
π︎ Dec 23 2020
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What do you call an octopus that can't count?

A septopus

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π€︎ u/jaydezi
π︎ Dec 06 2020
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What did the German man say when asked if he could count past 8?

Nein

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π€︎ u/sangimil
π︎ Nov 13 2020
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A good title for a conservative news article a couple days ago when Trump declared βStop the count!β after Biden started making gains but Trump still couldβve shocked the world wouldβve been...

βTrumpβs Not Down For the Countβ

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π︎ Nov 06 2020
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Why do bottomless shoes count as Halloween decorations.

Because they have no soles.

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π€︎ u/lilleyal
π︎ Oct 14 2020
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If I have the ability to count

Does that mean I have accountability?

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π︎ Nov 05 2020
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Does this count as a pun?
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π€︎ u/Wizartti
π︎ Nov 20 2019
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Did you hear the one about the Mexican Magician? He announced to his audience: "For my final illusion, I will make myself vanish on the count of threeβ¦"

"β¦ UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.

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π€︎ u/professorf
π︎ May 27 2020
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I was wondering what's taking them so long to count all the votes in Nevada

But I realized it's because their work is Neva Dan

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π︎ Nov 05 2020
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Why do mission controllers count down on takeoff?

If they counted up the space shuttle would never take off.

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π︎ Nov 10 2020
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What do you call more turkeys than you can count?

A Gobbillion. Happy thanksgiving!

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π︎ Nov 26 2020
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Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...

... He always avoid the stakeholders.

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π€︎ u/trickertreater
π︎ Nov 19 2020
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Does this count as a pun?.. it's my favorite thing I've ever created...
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π€︎ u/Lianrhod
π︎ Sep 24 2020
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I recently got a hen to regularly count her eggs

She's a real mathemachicken!

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π€︎ u/cokedupbunny
π︎ Sep 25 2020
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Did you hear about the French man who could only count to seven?

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π€︎ u/the_houser
π︎ Nov 12 2020
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How do you count cows?

With a cowculator.

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π︎ Apr 10 2021
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What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?

A mathemachicken

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π€︎ u/BlankPhotos
π︎ Jul 13 2020
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A Mexican magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three. He says βUno...Dos...β *POOF*

...he disappeared without a TrΓ¨s

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π︎ Feb 24 2021
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How do you count cows ?

With a cow-culator.

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π€︎ u/AWeirdLlama
π︎ Jan 16 2021
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How do you count cows

A cowculator

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π€︎ u/kickypie
π︎ Dec 27 2020
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How does a farmer count his herd?

With a Cowculator.

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π€︎ u/DismalSeagull
π︎ Sep 29 2020
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How do you count cows?

With a cowculator

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π€︎ u/livelylou4
π︎ Oct 11 2020
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I had a hen who could count her own eggs.

She was a mathemachicken!

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π︎ Oct 25 2020
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A Spanish-speaking magician announced that would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos...." POOF!

He disappeared without a tres.

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π€︎ u/jfshay
π︎ Nov 21 2020
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What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?

A mathemachicken

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π︎ Jul 11 2019
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What do you call a hen that counts her eggs?

A mathmachicken!

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π€︎ u/cuttcake
π︎ Aug 09 2020
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I had a hen who could count her own eggs.

She was a mathemachicken.

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π€︎ u/MyJelloJiggles
π︎ Apr 29 2020
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