Something weird happened today. I went to talk to a friend, and he asked me to calculate arcsecant out of the blue.

He said "Gimme asec".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokefan713
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Cooking up some drugs is easy if u know the steps and calculate the correct dosages

Like, it’s basic meth

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApexPredator1509_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ

It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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My son asked me how hard it is to calculate the area of a circle

I told him it’s easy as pi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edmondontis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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For some reason I can't calculate amps and voltage

I don't know watt I'm forgetting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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How do you calculate the surface area of a cephalopod?

Using octoPi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carlitos_segway
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Do you know how to calculate the volume of a pizza with a radius of Z and a thickness of A?

Pi * Z * Z * A

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πŸ‘€︎ u/czeslavo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?

The antichimera mechanism.

(I don't know how obscure this is, but if it doesn't make sense click this link)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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What do you call a chicken that calculates how long it will take to cross the road?

A mathemachicken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TripleBeam87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who can't calculate averages?

He wasn't good at math by any means.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuringC0mplete
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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My dad added this calculated pun this morning and I couldn’t be happier m.imgur.com/pfHUkRR?r
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbledorito
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlemonie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation

I really have to make it count

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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What do you call a calculator that works instantly?

Calcunow

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thespunkmunky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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Whenever I am in doubt, I resort to using my calculator.

I can always count on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Playing rainbow six using Calculator as a controller
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaycrossinroad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I don’t understand why my calculator just stopped working.

It just doesn’t add up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/varunmohan02
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Well calculated response
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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It’s a bit calculated to understand this pun
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Ive checked and checked and i just cant work out why my calculator has stopped working!!!

It just doesn’t add up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Ah yes the calculator
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flor_Mertens
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Some students needed help calculating the number of food and drinks they'd need for a party. Their teacher responds...

"What's the equation? (occasion)"

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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My calculator is missing the minus button....

But on the plus side it still works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbuckingham89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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A boy breaks his calculator just before a big math test

From the shelf beside him, an abacus says "Dont worry kid, you can always count on me"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobdole4eva
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Guys, I had a really exhausting day yesterday, filling in forms and calculating the surplus of money I had to pay to the country.

It was a taxing day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziWookie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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When I was young, I once asked my dad for a pocket calculator, but he said no.

He said, β€œWho cares how many pockets you have?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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The TSA detained a passenger in possession of a slide rule, compass and calculator...

They said he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and was a member of the Alge-bra movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes?

You get fat. What, were you expecting a pi joke? Reddit doesn’t have pie days!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBudderBomb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...

... does it become a calcu-earlier?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Do you know how karma is calculated?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GedT1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Girlfriend got mad when I gave her a box full of ants with calculators for valentines day

Don't understand why, she'd always told me it's little things that count?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliswellinnz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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Where does the evil calculator go when he dies?

1134

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bach563
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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I'm calculating inertia right now...

... so give me a moment!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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I got a really ugly looking calculator for Christmas.

But it is what is on the inside that counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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People are always telling me that β€œmean” and β€œrude” have the same definitions. So I ask them,

β€œWhat do you rude?”

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Mate of mine used a modified Fatman in a New Vegas inspired talbetop-RPG. We both found the damage calculation of the lingering damage the GM thought of quite punny:

"Type: Radioactive Fallout, 7d6"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoughShadow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me...

Wheres the pi?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamas2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Everyone is so surprised after getting hit by a calculator...

... I guess they weren't counting on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot-d0g-Water
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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Why did the protractor marry the calculator?

It was a math made in heaven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/urak47
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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I gave my son a calculator named β€œThought”.

It’s the thought that counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditingDino
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What works faster than a calculator?

A calcunow

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJWIZARD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I can’t understand why my calculator just stopped working

It just doesn’t add up

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysthecold
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't understand why my calculator just stopped working

It just doesn't add up

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconlover09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a calculator that works instantly?

A calcu-now

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t understand why my calculator wont work.

It just doesn’t add up.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad if he could buy me a pocket calculator.

He said, β€œWhy? You don’t know how many pockets you have?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are calculators so dependable?

Because you can always count on them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Weird how my calculator has stopped working...

It just doesn't add up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mtcarr79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, ...it still works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I have an old calculator that’s missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, it still works.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side,...it still works.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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