But i'm Ghana do it.
"Who's not here, please raise your hand."
A Brazilian.
I asked her if it was a running joke...
Chuckleslovakia
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny
Mad-at-gas-car, obviously.
(It just came to me and I had to share it. I'm so sorry)
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
Audi, partner 🤠
an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...
The doorman stops the
... keep reading on reddit ➡The Procrastination
“I live in Spain without the ‘s’”.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the “Bah”.
-
I have a double China without the “a”.
-
Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the “an”.
-
Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
-
You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the “J”.
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You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the “Ku”.
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Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
-
As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the “Ne”.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the “Den”, of course.
“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
My fiance's uncle disappeared for a couple hours after the ceremony. He walks into the reception with two golf tees in his hand and says to anyone who will listen,
"they tell me I'm a tease"
while holding up the two tees.
He spent at least an hour looking for two golf tees just so he could make that joke.
Because they got in a fight once and 21
Because Dawn is tough on Greece
I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen
Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.
Now all I’m China do is to survive
If they float, they're boy ant.
....because freedom rings.
Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!
Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!
Me and my dad drive past a graveyard
Dad: You know why I can't be buried there?
Me: Why?
Dad: Cause I'm alive!
Must be some kind of milestone…
The Crimea River
"Have you seen him? He's a tall Pakistani guy. Can't miss him." "No, sorry man." "Bummer... Yeah I've gotta catch Amal."
My fiance nearly threw her engagement ring at me for that one.
My mom teased my dad by calling him gay. This is how my Dad retaliated.
Dad: your ex boyfriend was hot .
Mom: which one?
Dad: Me
The Finnish line 🏃
Seize their memes of production.
No, it's a continent song.
Mom talking to my brother: "What do your grades look like?"
Me: "Letters."
Hear dad laugh from the kitchen.
"C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?
He'll never sell ice cream going that fast
IHOP
The country’s so full of Wings and Wongs that every time you Wing you get the Wong number.
Edit: I do not mean to offend anyone here. Just making a joke that I found in a Roald Dahl book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSf00ewCiko&feature=youtu.be&t=180
Includes all the important aspects of a good dad joke:
- Innocent setup by unsuspecting teammate
- Perfect delivery of terrible dad joke
- High five from another shameless dad nearby
- Look of severe disapproval from contest judge who can't believe you just did that in front of your entire country
John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced color pigments. John was placed in the 'Pink Pigment' department which was incidentally between the 'Red Pigment' and 'White Pigment' departments. He was really good at his job and was constantly praised for the great work he produced.
However after a month or so, John found that a number of his work was being duplicated and mailed to almost all of his customers. Worse of all, instead of a proper note commenting on the color pigment properties, these duplicated products were accompanied with rather bad puns and jokes. One repeating joke which irritated him the most was: 'What do you call a country with only pink cars? A pink car-nation.'
Upset, he went to his manager to complain about the problem. After listening to John, his manager said, "Oh boy, looks like I need to talk to the manager of the 'Red Pigment' department again. This is not the first time that it has happened. Those Red-editors in that department love to copy and repost other people's original work as their own."
John then asked, "How are you so sure that it was them who are responsible?"
His manager replied, "Well, you can be certain that it is them as they always love jokes or puns especially in the comment section."
