I said no honey, I said I was into resting.
Fries
One is a cat loaf and the other is a cattle oaf.
And one of our kittens (7mo/f) starts nosing her away aggressively around our feet.
15/f daughter: ‘Oh kitty, what are you doing?’
Me: ‘I think she’s fishing.’
Achievement unlocked: my daughter smiled, and didn’t groan, roll her eyes, or whine ‘Daaaad’.
...guess that makes me pansectional
Nobody has noticed sofa.
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
Sofa Kingdom
After we got there, I realized I forgot those things you’re supposed to sit on. There were reaper cushions.
So close, yet sofa.
I thought that’s a very weird way to start a conversation.
AWOL nut.
About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek.
I ask him "What are you doing?"
"I'm measuring your patience."
When I was 15 there was a Home Depot bucket next to the front door for a while. One night I was watching tv with my mom. She was laying on the couch and I was laying on the floor.
My dad got home from work and as he was taking off his boots he asked “Hey, where did that Home Depot bucket come from?” And without skipping a beat I said “I don’t know. Home Depot?” My mom laughed so hard and my dad was pissed. I got grounded for a week for “being a smart ass”.
I’m now 26 and to this day when my dad and I go to Home Depot I always chuckle and point to the buckets and ask “Hey dad, where do you think those come from.”
On one of these trips I picked one up and was examining it when my dad asked me what I was looking for. I turned the bucket upside down and said “Well would you look at that dad. They’re from Lowe’s.” I thought he was gonna knock my ass out right there.
TLDR: My dad: “Where did that Home Depot bucket come from?” Me: “I don’t know. Home Depot?”
Painful, because they can't c.
It becomes a sectional.
They charge per cushion.
The last thing I need is a bunch of baby couches running around the place
I got tele-vision
But sofa so good.
never get old."
Boy, was my face red!
He pressed the russet button, of course.
I had to explain to him that I was married now and that's where I sleep.
Ouch
But sofa so good.
I had to explain to him that I was married now and that's where I sleep.
