What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on your front porch?
There’s two old men sitting on their front porch when a dog comes up and starts licking it’s junk
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you can’t do that. That dog’ll bite you.
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
How do you get an art history major off your front porch ?
My downstairs neighbor complains that whenever I eat Doritos on my porch, it gets all over him on his patio. As usual, he's exaggerating.
He just has a chip on his shoulder.
I woke up this morning and found that someone has dumped a bunch of celery on my front porch.
I think I’m being stalked.
The officers of my company all met on the open, unroofed porch extending from our building...
Every morning on my way to work, I slip on the frozen newspaper on our front porch.
I’m fallen on some hard Times.
What do you call an Irishman on the porch?
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
I built a screen porch and it was much easier since I didn’t install windows.
What's Irish and sits on the porch all day?
My neighbor installed a security system in his porch that launches intruders into the air, and I could tell he was very happy about it.
There was a spring in his step.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer have a blender on his front porch?
So he could greet you with a handshake.
What’s Irish and sits on your porch?
How do you steal a porch?
You take it step by step.
My package was just stolen off of my front porch...
A flock of geese flew on to my back porch yesterday
I guess you could say they were Portuguese
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on my front porch?
my father loves these jokes back in the day. whos familiar with them all?
My sister is afraid of ants so when she screamed "Ants!" while she was on our porch.
My dad asked, "Where are the uncles?"
What do you call a guy who lays around on the porch all day?
There's a wash basin with a faucet on your front porch ringing the bell...
Wife and I sitting on the porch talking about how we used to get to school.
She said she had car pooled most if her school days.
I asked what route they took, and she mentioned a road that had a tunnel.
I asked if it made her wrist hurt.
She said 'No, why would it?'
'Havent you ever heard if Car Pool-Tunnel Syndrome?"
I have to eat dinner with the dogs tonight now.
Sitting on the front porch and my fiancée's uncle got me good
We're talking about actors and he goes "hear about that poor actress who was recently stabbed in NY?....Reese....Reese...." Stupidly I reply "Witherspoon!?"
He happily proclaims: "No! With a Knife!"
Every morning after I wake up, I find that someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on your front porch?
How do you get a stoner off of your porch?
You pay him for the pizza.
There's two old men and a dog sitting on a porch.......
The dog starts licking his nuts. One man says, "I sure wish I could do that". The other man replies, "That dog will bite you".