A list of puns related to "Circle Around"
It was chasing after a cocktail.
”Dad, joke”
The pi-oneer.
I just don't know who my target audience would be.
Sir Cumference
https://scontent-a-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/l/t1.0-9/1002564_10152084893704418_275552485_n.jpg
...on the way home from work. While pumping the gas, the nozzle somehow jammed and his tank started to overflow. Out of nowhere a stray dog trotted towards him as the oil was spilling onto the pavement. My dad said he kept trying to scare the dog off so he didn’t lap up the gas. Well, the dog did just that. He started lapping up the gas. All of the sudden the dog took off and started running around in circles, crazed. And then.... he just dropped dead.
Do you know why? He asked.
Answer: BECAUSE HE RAN OUT OF GAS.
ETA: (True story — I was like seven when he told me this and I was traumatized. But now I tell a more elaborate version of this story/joke as an adult and it’s pretty funny. “Uhhh because the dog ingested gas?”)
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could “build your own butterfly” with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.
Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If you’ve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.
My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, “This looks like a condom with a penny in it.” And I said, “That’s why they call it a money shot.”
I was wandering in circles for ages, but then I remembered some advice my dad gave me. I started digging around until I found water, and I knew I had found the way out. What was his advice? “Where there’s a well, there’s a way.”
It usually helps, but I feel like I’m going around in circles
His house is a circle... He's been walking around confused for three hours now, I am getting concerned.
In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.
Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is ground down and hidden away, and the resistance is loosing its will.
A small group of contributors to reddit, huddled together in a bunker beneath barely-waving flags of Snoo, worked tirelessly to repost new ideas from around the internet, to release ideas from their chains, and make speech free ... again!
But it was not to be - a gang of the governments anti-piracy enforcers descended on this, the last bastion of humankind's will to share-freely. Arriving in an armored bus, ten shock-troopers breached the bunker and it looked like the day was lost.
Fortunately for us all, one brave redditor led the collective out a back entrance and they circled to the driveway. This leader told the other redditors to wait in the bushes while he overpowered the one soldier left guarding the transport. There was a flash of movement, a crack from a fallen branch as it struck the guard, and then, stolen keys in hand, the hero revved the engine and told the redditors to pile in.
He had to will himself ignore the gas gauge as he floored the accelerator on the 25,000 pound ticket to freedom - there was only survival or defeat, and nothing in between. Sirens came alive behind him as he rushed for the border to the promised land, to the Free-North.
As the engine begins to cough, the titanic weight of the transport cleaves the barricades asunder and the pursuing vehichles have to hard-brake to avoid skidding beyond their corrupt jurisdiction. Both exhausted and elated, the redditors follow their hero to the freedom promised by their new surroundings ... but their peril is not yet passed.
Though most of the pirate-hunters glower from the south-side of the border, one special agent has crossed over and is speaking with the border guards. The tension is thick. A long-faced guard turns to the newcomers, clearly troubled by what he must do.
"Folks," he says, a pained look on his kindly face, "I'm sorry, to do this, don't cha' know, but I got no choice, eh!"
Confused, the redditors look to one another, and tremble as they notice the agent's smug expression, greedy eyes fixed on the leader of the exodus.
"Look here, now, you are all welcome here, of course, and since speech is free here, we are
... keep reading on reddit ➡But it seems like no matter how hard I try, I just keep going around in circles.
One of the kids brought down a plastic lightsaber toy. My one year old likes to spin around in circles. He did this, holding the lightsaber.
My wife said, "May the centrifugal force be with you."
True story:
Took my stepdad to dinner at Cracker Barrel with my mom and gf on Father's Day. There was an advertisement on our table for a birdbath they were selling in the store part of the restaurant.
Mom (seeing that it was $49.95): "I wonder how big that birdbath is?"
Gf: "I think it's about this big" (holds arms in a circle indicating about 18 inches around)
Mom: "That's actually not a bad deal"
Stepdad: "Well, yeah, but where are the birds gonna get fifty bucks?"
o.o
I was in my Organic Chemistry class and we were talking about something called Frost's Circle My teacher asked why this is important and I said "Because it's cool" Groans everywhere. So I said "Well look at his diagram, there's no way around it." Double groans
So my friends little brother was sprinting in circles around the house when my friend grabs him cuz he has boogers on his face and says
Friend:"what's all over your face"
Brother:"what?"
Friend:"what's all over your face!?"
Brother: "skin..."
My girlfriend and I were arguing this morning.
The kind of argument where only one of us is upset and the other thinks its hilarious.
To taunt me, she asked "How mad are you"?
I tried being tough when I replied "soooo mad right now".
With a grin she asks "like super mad"?
Not seeing the trap before me I respond "Yes, I am super mad"!
This backfired horribly as she proceeded to take the towel on her head and tie it around her neck as a cape. Then she ran circles in the kitchen with her arms extended, pretending to fly yelling "You're a bird! You're a plane! Youuuuuuuu're SUPER MAAAD!"
Pretty sure she forgot I was even there.
She wins this round.
In class we were talking about different ceremonies about "becoming a man". The story goes that a tribe in Peru sends nine 15 year olds into the woods for three days and each has to collect a different item. After the time is up the tribe beats drums to call the boys back. When they return the shaman lays them in a circle around the fire heads pointing inwards and begins to heat up a spear. After The metal is red hot they begin to cut out and remove the boys kidneys. Of course my class asked "why?!" Mind you we are taking this story as notes. He looks at as dead in the face and says "The culture believes they will receive their adultneys" Tl;Dr cuts out children's kidneys because they think they will grow adultneys.
You cut a big hole in the ice and put a circle of peas around it.
When he comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole.
-my dad, driving to our skiing trip.
Complaining that some idiot had left a can of petrol unattended after mowing the pitch and a poor dog had drank the whole thing. It ran around in circles for 10 minutes before collapsing.
Me: "Was it dead?"
Dad: No... it just ran out of petrol.
My dad would gather us around in a circle, claiming to be a magician. Then, he would roll up his tie yelling, "Which part of the tie will drop first, the big or the small!" We would guess while he's rolling up the tie. He lets it go and yells, "IT'S a TIE!"
One time I was painting the fence and that old dog we had walked right up to the bowl of gas I had there to wash paint brushes in and started to drink from it! At first he started to run around in circles very fast and then he just stopped moving.... "What happened Dad?" He ran out of gas.
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