Puns about the body are usually corny. But puns about the eyes are even
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
IMDb rating 4.3/10 but pun game 10/10
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
Puns about white sugar are rare, but puns about brown sugar?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 04 2017
π︎ 28
π
︎ Aug 08 2016
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I donβt believe him.
But thatβs his story, and heβs sticking to it.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments
Thatβs just unpresidented
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesnβt need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now heβs high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. Iβm glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
I was going to add a pun here but can't think of any right now
π︎ 140
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?
π︎ 472
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
π︎ 528
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
I donβt mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
My brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess we are raised differently.
π︎ 138
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
I love GOLD , but *A* is silent in it!#chem punsΖͺ(Λβ£Λ)Κβ(β
ο½β)β
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.
He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"
π︎ 86
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
I use a lot of the jokes from here, but I always tell folks where I got them.
Just giving cReddit where it's due.
π︎ 122
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
A chemist froze himself to -273.15Β°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
New medication created. Reduces swelling but makes you swear.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
Itβs a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldnβt whisk for a batter friend.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...
The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....
π︎ 38
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick
She still isn't talking to me
π︎ 723
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
π︎ 187
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift
That's why it's called PRESENT.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
Ainβt nothing but a heart break
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...
The difference is staggering
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Crickets, but I was proud
π︎ 195
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."
"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
π︎ 128
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
π︎ 134
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my carβs center console.
It was my climb-it change.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
I got lazy, but here are day 11, 12 and 13 of Dadvent!
π︎ 41
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...
He's a got a faux pas now
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Hereβs a little early access to a pun I made. Iβm not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
π︎ 48
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Oldie but a goldie
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didnβt show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Today, I checked out at the store, but the cashier kept taking pictures of herself with each item I was purchasing...
I'll never go thru the selfie checkout again!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
*calls mum * son : I'm in hospital but don't worry everything is fine
Mum : you're the daym doctor and this wasn't funny the first time
π︎ 42
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
π︎ 77
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
