Puns about the body are usually corny. But puns about the eyes are even
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οΈ Jun 09 2020
IMDb rating 4.3/10 but pun game 10/10
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οΈ Dec 06 2019
Puns about white sugar are rare, but puns about brown sugar?
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Mar 04 2017
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οΈ Aug 08 2016
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I donβt believe him.
But thatβs his story, and heβs sticking to it.
ποΈ 13k
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οΈ Jan 11 2021
One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments
Thatβs just unpresidented
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οΈ Jan 13 2021
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
ποΈ 10k
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οΈ Dec 21 2020
My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesnβt need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
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οΈ Dec 25 2020
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now heβs high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
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οΈ Dec 03 2020
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
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οΈ Nov 26 2020
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
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οΈ Nov 19 2020
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. Iβm glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
ποΈ 11k
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οΈ Nov 12 2020
I was going to add a pun here but can't think of any right now
ποΈ 140
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οΈ Jan 04 2021
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?
ποΈ 472
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οΈ Dec 24 2020
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
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οΈ Dec 17 2020
I donβt mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
ποΈ 9k
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οΈ Oct 24 2020
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οΈ Dec 24 2020
My brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess we are raised differently.
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οΈ Jan 02 2021
I love GOLD , but *A* is silent in it!#chem punsΖͺ(Λβ£Λ)Κβ(β
ο½β)β
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Dec 26 2020
My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.
He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"
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οΈ Jan 11 2021
I use a lot of the jokes from here, but I always tell folks where I got them.
Just giving cReddit where it's due.
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οΈ Dec 29 2020
A chemist froze himself to -273.15Β°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
ποΈ 19k
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οΈ Sep 11 2020
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
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οΈ Jan 09 2021
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.
Good players are hard to find.
ποΈ 17k
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οΈ Oct 05 2020
New medication created. Reduces swelling but makes you swear.
ποΈ 45
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οΈ Jan 12 2021
Itβs a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldnβt whisk for a batter friend.
ποΈ 46
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οΈ Dec 07 2020
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
ποΈ 20k
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οΈ Sep 03 2020
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...
The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....
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οΈ Jan 09 2021
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick
She still isn't talking to me
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οΈ Nov 28 2020
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
ποΈ 187
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οΈ Dec 05 2020
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift
That's why it's called PRESENT.
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οΈ Dec 30 2020
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jan 11 2021
Ainβt nothing but a heart break
ποΈ 5k
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οΈ Sep 18 2020
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...
The difference is staggering
ποΈ 20k
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οΈ Sep 08 2020
Crickets, but I was proud
ποΈ 195
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οΈ Nov 17 2020
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."
"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
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οΈ Dec 25 2020
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
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οΈ Dec 14 2020
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my carβs center console.
It was my climb-it change.
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οΈ Jan 10 2021
I got lazy, but here are day 11, 12 and 13 of Dadvent!
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οΈ Dec 13 2020
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
ποΈ 50
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οΈ Dec 28 2020
My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...
He's a got a faux pas now
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Jan 05 2021
Hereβs a little early access to a pun I made. Iβm not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
ποΈ 48
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οΈ Dec 16 2020
Oldie but a goldie
ποΈ 5k
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οΈ Sep 23 2020
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didnβt show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
ποΈ 51
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οΈ Dec 25 2020
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Jan 13 2021
Today, I checked out at the store, but the cashier kept taking pictures of herself with each item I was purchasing...
I'll never go thru the selfie checkout again!
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οΈ Jan 05 2021
*calls mum * son : I'm in hospital but don't worry everything is fine
Mum : you're the daym doctor and this wasn't funny the first time
ποΈ 42
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οΈ Dec 24 2020
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
ποΈ 77
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οΈ Jan 09 2021
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