I just screamed at a well-bronzed man at the beach.

Sorry for going off on a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/socool111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?

The Sausages.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Out of all the inventions of the Bronze Age...

The shovel has to be the most groundbreaking of all

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harvie_B134
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I once won silver for curling and bronze for the Bob

...yet hairdresser of year still eludes me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships...

I took gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Bronze cat taps
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehwolf_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Trying to find motivation and engage with research of what motivated people in the post-Bronze Age to engage in building double-storey dwellings...

Irony on two many levels.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.

I said, β€œDon’t worry. We are all in the same boat.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What did french tanning cream do to a famous basketball player?

It LeBronzed James

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poogart
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If self-deprecation was an Olympic Sport

I'd probably just about scrape bronze

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falseoptimism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do olympians and thieves have in common?

They go for the gold, but sometimes have to settle for coppers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaverpudding
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I entered a kleptomania competition.

I got gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not saying China was doping during the Summer Olympics

But when they take the gold, silver, and bronze it raises a lot of red flags.

~credit to Steve, a real person.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebignate08
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a basketball player who's been in the sun for too long?

LeBronze James.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my girlfriend during the Olympics

After watching the luge event where Erin Hamlin won bronze for America

Host: it was a big night for luger Erin Hamlin winning the first medal ever for America

Me: that's not nice calling her a luger for coming in 3rd place

Girlfriend: facepalm

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brancky3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Cause you can only get bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 604
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I entered a kleptomania competition.

I got gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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