Are you a CEO in Silicon Valley?

Yeah, I surf on executive boards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDudeWalterEgo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Why does everyone hate Silicon and Nitrogen so much ?

Because they are always going around committing SiN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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What special dietary request did the vegan Silicon Valley tech nerd have for his artisan cheese order in the Whole Foods?

No Whey, Jose!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What does silicon and my son who is learning to become a train driver have in common?

They're both semiconductors.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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My friend from Silicon Valley developed a dating app for water fowl.

"Gandr"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WorldsMostDad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Do I know the Italian word for silicon?

Si.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hulovaa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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What is the name of the small stream that runs through Silicon Valley?

Facebrook

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rawsweater
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2016
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What do you call the space between fake tits?

Silicon Valley

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ojesant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Punistry!

What did Uranium say to Aluminium and Silicon when they ganged up against it?

β€’ Al-Si-U

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sameer_gulzar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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A guy came by my workshop today to pick up a replica of his butt that I molded out of silicone

He literally had his ass handed to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandeLion-King
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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As a father, is it okay for me to refer to the plastic threaded flange which secures the silicone nipple onto the plastic baby formula bottle as the

baby nipple ring?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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You'll get a reaction out of this....

Anyone who makes a pun about iron should pay a periodic Fe, I would stop now but that'd be Nobel of me, HeHeHe. Be sure to take a deep breath before you say "NO". At this point you might thinking we should get Iridium of this guy in rl too. I'll eventually run out of chemical puns, right? Na, which might be your mood coincidentally. This guy must be a fake as Silicone, he got this from somewhere to which I reply, Si, senor! I Cu calling for the coppers, but any "Bro" of mine wouldn't. Don't worry, the best ones Argon by now. Au reading this! This winding list is surely golden by now, right?

As we close this out, allow me to echo your thoughts one last time, Fr y'all.

"F"In"Al"Y"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vadea_Shepard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What do you call Nikki Minaj’s butt crack?

Silicon Valley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamingpron0t
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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What is the kardashian's mansion called?

Silicon valley

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madlad612
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My friends made fun of me for saying I'd be willing to have sex with a robot,

But some men like all natural, some like silicon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamingpron0t
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Every time I see a picture of Kim Kardashian, I feel a shortness of breath.

I’m afraid I might be assmatic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Where do breast implants go to die?

Silicon Valley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drunkinfirst
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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Today I got my wife

Not my best, but I'm working on it https://i.imgur.com/uprrPy9.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.


How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone


What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.


Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!


Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.


Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.


How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.


If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.


What do chemists

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Professor dad-joked the whole class

Today in Advanced Microfabrication, we were talking about diffusion into silicon. One of the key measurements of diffusion is Q, or the total number of dopants in the substrate. For some reason, sometimes you use Q in the equations, and sometimes you use 2*Q.

He then asked us, "So if you have 5Q and then 5 more Q, how many do you have?"

"Uh.. 10 Q?"

"You're welcome! hahahahahahahahah"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreyPooponPoop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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Me: Man it smells a lot like vinegar in here

Dad: Yeah, it's all the silicone pipes in the bathroom (renovating bathroom, working on it) Me: Ah, makes sense

Dad: Just Imagine how bad Silicone Valley smells

He just laid that one on me not too long ago

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DuckyTape1099
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
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We were having dinner after swimming

Dad: "I hate it when I get water in my ears." Mom: "Maybe you should try those silicon earplugs" Me: "Dad's getting silicons?" A tick passes and dad can't hold his laugh anymore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cunningstuntman
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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What do you call the space between fake tits?

Silicon Valley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOfBeingCool
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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