Bowel Movements Puns

...I'll call it "Pottyfy".

Waste Management

It was a shit show.

Count Dooky

But he didn't believe me; in fact he said I was full of shit.

Me: "I have to poop so bad!" Dad: "You're a grown man, son, why don't you try to poop good for a change?"

Now she’s in the ICU

A Bowel Movement

It was a heavy Bowel Movement.

My next bowel movement could spell disaster!

As seen on Gab.

My morning bowel movement this morning spelled disaster.

I wasn't feeling well and I suspected some intestinal blockage to be the culprit. Naturally, I made an appointment with my doctor. I'm in the treatment room waiting when he comes in.

Doc: Not feeling well huh? What do you think it is?

Me: I'm not sure but I've had weird bowel movements I think it's blockage

Doc: I don't believe you

Me: wut

Doc: you're lying to me

Me: no seriously doc I'm blocked up here

Doc: I know, you're full of shit

The doctor told us that our kid might be constipated and recommended mirilax. He said we should take a Saturday and keep giving her the medicine until her bowel movements are clear.

There was only one reply I could make, "that sounds like a crappy day".

Mom was talking about weight loss issues she was having and said to my father: "Well, your BMI is lower than mine now."

Dad looked at me and said: "BMI? Bowel Movement Index?"

Me: "And it's lower than mom's, which we kind of knew any way because she's full of shit."