I'm gonna start a streaming service where users can listen to different toilet sounds and bowel movements...

...I'll call it "Pottyfy".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/synoptikal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Who do you call when you can't control your bowel movements?

Waste Management

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/syntax_no_context
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I went to a seminar on bowel movement.

It was a shit show.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Whats the only Sith Lord that keeps tracks of his bowel movements?

Count Dooky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s__haw__n
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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I went to the doctor yesterday because I hadn't had a bowel movement in a week.

But he didn't believe me; in fact he said I was full of shit.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-rabid-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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Dad on bowel movements...

Me: "I have to poop so bad!" Dad: "You're a grown man, son, why don't you try to poop good for a change?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agnostalypse
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2013
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My daughter had a horrible peak-a-boo accident

Now she’s in the ICU

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yousuchafukinhoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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What do you call it when a shit takes a stand for what it believes in?

A Bowel Movement

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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I was on the toilet when the earthquake happened.

It was a heavy Bowel Movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepumpkins15
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles today.

My next bowel movement could spell disaster!

As seen on Gab.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
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I ate a whole bag of Scrabble tiles yesterday.

My morning bowel movement this morning spelled disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElmerJShagnasty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2016
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My doctor is the master of dad jokes

I wasn't feeling well and I suspected some intestinal blockage to be the culprit. Naturally, I made an appointment with my doctor. I'm in the treatment room waiting when he comes in.

Doc: Not feeling well huh? What do you think it is?

Me: I'm not sure but I've had weird bowel movements I think it's blockage

Doc: I don't believe you

Me: wut

Doc: you're lying to me

Me: no seriously doc I'm blocked up here

Doc: I know, you're full of shit

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
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With my kid at the Dr

The doctor told us that our kid might be constipated and recommended mirilax. He said we should take a Saturday and keep giving her the medicine until her bowel movements are clear.

There was only one reply I could make, "that sounds like a crappy day".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigjohn426
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
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Dad-joked Mom on Mother's Day

Mom was talking about weight loss issues she was having and said to my father: "Well, your BMI is lower than mine now."

Dad looked at me and said: "BMI? Bowel Movement Index?"

Me: "And it's lower than mom's, which we kind of knew any way because she's full of shit."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sad_lawyer
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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