My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.

He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ez-pz-lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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I’m not the mouth, the stomach, the small or large intestines

AITA?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logoman4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.

(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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A serial killer murders people by suffocating them with pig intestines

His media name is Wurst Case Scenario

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...

That took a lot of guts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Did you know that the first ever balloons were made out of animal intestines and organs?

That means the first balloons weren't balloon animals, but ballooned animals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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What happens in the intestines stays in the intestines.

Oh I forgot. Crap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sir-adrian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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I want to tell you a joke about small intestine

But villi?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoopPower333
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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Finely chopped meat mixed with gelatine, blood, grits, or bread, then stuffed into animal intestines or skin, sounds pretty bad wherever you are.

But in Germany, it's the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Me: One of our neighbors had a part of his large intestine removed. Her: Oh my God! Is he in a coma?

Me: No, but he ended up with a semi colon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Just got back from the doctor, I have inflamed intestines.

Otherwise known as, swollen colon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshthebear93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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How do you know when a large intestine is telling a dad joke to the small intestine?

He’s saying it ingest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
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My GF got intestine infection..

GF: "You forgot I am ill."

Me: "Oh I thought your stomach pain is gone, or else you would have mentioned it."

GF: "Yeah so I thought, but I went to see the doctor anyway."

Me: "What did the he say?"

GF: "He said I have intestine infection."

Me: "Ohhh so your gut feeling is all messed up now, isn't it?"..

After a moment of silence, she burst out laughing. And said goodnight with a kiss.

I am going to marry this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grrrwoofwoof
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2014
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I think I have intestinal worms.

I don’t know why though, it’s just a gut feeling.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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How much does it cost a pirate to get their ears pierced?

A buck an ear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week.

Runs until Friday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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How do you clean the ocean?

You use Tide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExcelOceans
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Everything’s great in your digestive system

Until it hits your stomach then it all turns to shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thechosenone6969
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My doctor is the master of dad jokes

I wasn't feeling well and I suspected some intestinal blockage to be the culprit. Naturally, I made an appointment with my doctor. I'm in the treatment room waiting when he comes in.

Doc: Not feeling well huh? What do you think it is?

Me: I'm not sure but I've had weird bowel movements I think it's blockage

Doc: I don't believe you

Me: wut

Doc: you're lying to me

Me: no seriously doc I'm blocked up here

Doc: I know, you're full of shit

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
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