How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niknaktom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I’m making a movie called constipation

I can’t wait till it comes out

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I’ve been trying to solve a complicated maths question to take my mind off my constipation. Today, using only a pencil and sheer determination...

I finally worked it out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"

It hasn’t come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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My girlfriend that I loved with all my heart left me while I was in the bathroom screaming with constipation.

It was the hardest dump I ever took.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Joke from my great uncle: You know that movie "Constipation" that was supposed to come out this year?

It didn't.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Facist_Potato
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I went online for constipation advice...

Now, I can't log out.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Have you heard about the new movie, "Constipation"?

It's not coming out any time soon but early critics are giving it shit reviews.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Have you heard of the movie constipation?

No? It’s because it hasn’t come out yet!

-A joke told by my 6 year old cousin

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purpleegg1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Have any of you guys seen the show Constipation on Netflix?

Oh wait, that's right. It hasn't come out yet....

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Have any of you that seen that new movie β€œConstipation”?

Oh never mind.... it hasn’t come out yet

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adhdandwingingit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I used to suffer from constipation.....

That shit was hard.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepguy797
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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How did the mathematician take care of his constipation problem?

He worked it out with a pencil.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WittyTurkey715
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Did you hear how the mathematician cured his constipation?

He worked it out with a number two pencil.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I think there's something wrong with the constipation website I signed up to.

I can't log out

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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What do you say when your employee complains about his constipation?

A poor workman blames his stools.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deegantmistry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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How can you find out whether you have constipation or diarrhea?

The process of elimination.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Me: have you ever seen the movie Constipation?

You: no

Me: That’s because it never came out

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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How does Vanna White take her constipation medicine?

Via bowel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBTHVSK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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If Mustard cured constipation .....

They'd have to spell it different.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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What is the German word for constipation ?

Fahrfrahmpoopin

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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My Doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.

Now I'm worried shitless.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kefir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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β€œWatson, what does constipation mean?”

β€œNo shit, Sherlock”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamverymature69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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There should be a manly constipation medication called "Court Marshall."

"You are now relieved of duty!"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Why can’t you ever trust someone with constipation?

They’re full of shit

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/azgofk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Just learned the word for constipation in German

Farfrompoopen

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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Record keepers, lumberjacks, and people with constipation....

..are log keepers

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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What's the difference between Constipation and Diarrhea?

Constipation is when your body does not give a shit.

Diarrhea is when your body cannot get it's shit together.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RainMorga
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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I saw a commercial about infrequent constipation.

Seems like they were just half-assing it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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I'm trying to work out a joke about constipation.

But I'm not coming up with crap.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lastlythefirst
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about that new movie called "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know of this new movie called "Constipation"

Its hasn't come out yet

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the movie Constipation ?

No ? That's because it hasn't come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DinkyOreo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea?

Process of Elimination.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a mathematician fix constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiggerBadgers
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the film Constipation?

You probably haven’t because it isn’t out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eeik5150
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey have you seen the movie constipation?

Of course not, it hasn't come out yet

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ran_the_dan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the german word for constipation?

Fahrfrompoopin

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FYF_IDontCare
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you guys seen the movie about constipation??

It hasn’t come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChknSchnity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the movie called constipation?

It hasn't come out yet

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conviction666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the maths teacher solve his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B_scuit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new movie about constipation?

No??

Oh, probably because it never came out.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xeofire9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about that new movie, constipation?

It hasn’t come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_person
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the film "Constipation"?

You probably haven't because it's not out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoopdebop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the movie β€˜Constipation’?

It hasn’t come out yet

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowPan69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
When will the movie β€œconstipation” be out? It never will!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NSHTghattas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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