Me: "Of course it will get bigger"
Her: "Oh, why do you think that?"
Me: "Because, your body will upgrade from a queen size womb to a king size womb"
Me: Okay. Just eat everything that is right.
Wife: sighs and rolls eyes
You're under a vest!
"It's when your tummy sticks out farther than you boobie do."
We're not allowed over there any more.
Her: I have an upset tummy
Me: How'd you tick him off?
Groans and an evil glare were all I got out of her.
I'm a bit under the weather today, with, um... 'tummy troubles'. When I got my son to his Cub Scout meeting today, I had to urgently use the restroom.
It's a thin door, and right during the part of the Scout Oath where they declare: "I will do my duty...", it happened. Very, very loudly.
They all stopped mid-sentence, and I heard my son yell: "My dad just did his doody!" To the 9-year-old mind, there's nothing better than bathroom humor. Would have been nice if the other parents weren't laughing, too, when I exited...