I hope this is not a bed pun
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
What does a CIA agent do when it's time for bed?
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
My 3 yr old just cracked me up with this joke as I was putting him to bed
Why did the tree moo?
Because there was a cow stuck in it!
What was Pinocchio doing in bed?
So I was laying in bed last night, looking up at the stars.
Then I realised. Where the f*** is my roof?
Every dad going to bed after midnight:
Come on, honey. We haven't done it all year!
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
I should've gone to bed at least 30 minutes ago...
But I suppose everybody's hindsight is 2020.
What do gingerbread men put on their beds?
If your in the bottom bunk of a bunk bed and someone's asleep in the top bunk,
Does that mean you're under a rest?
If a child is refusing to go to bed
Are they resisting a rest?
What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed?
What bed time story is a favourite among all trees?
What does Jeff Bezos do every night before bed?
what happens when "N" goes to bed?
What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?
Turn your sofa into a sofa bed immediately....
....by forgetting your wife's birthday.
I bought a new bed last week
I sleep so much bedder now
My wife asked me when I thought I was going to get out of bed
Told her I would sleep on it
I read that Shakira struggles to sleep and get comfortable in bed.
Apparently its because her hips don’t lie
Did you hear about the pregnant bed-bug?
It's having babies in the spring.
They never told me that getting older mad eeverything hurt when you get out of bed
I guess that’s why it’s called being a groan-up
Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..
I decided to read my dictionary in bed last night, but I didn't finish it.
Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug??
She’s going to have her baby in the spring!
A Bull and a cow were getting ready for bed.
The bull insistent on having sex until the female cow replied.
“ Honey I’m not in the moood.”
I uh I’m gonna go now.
What dose a spy do before bed
What do classical musicians like to read in bed?
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
Whats the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Doctor Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings
That's ok, you're just Tolkien in your sleep.
How do you train your kids to stop wetting the bed ?
Make them use an electric blanket.
The most stable relationship I have is with my bed
Because it stands on four legs.
They call me "The Pharoh" in bed...
...Because I turned my lady into a mummy!
Well I'm going to bed
Someone wake me up when September ends
I said to my daughter, ”It’s time for bed, the cows are asleep in the field”. She asked ”what’s that got to do with anything’?
I said “It’s pasture bedtime”.
I told my daughter to go to bed because the cows are sleeping. She asked what’s that go to do with anything..
I said it’s because it’s pasture bedtime.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
How do you make water bed more bouncy
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
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