46 Hilarious Attentional Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Saw an old man jumping around and waving his arms to get his neighbor’s attention.

He must’ve been at deaf’s door.

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👤︎ u/Toboggabug

📅︎ Feb 03 2021

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How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

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👤︎ u/VVIIVVI

📅︎ Jan 02 2021

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I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.

https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/RedLeader11037

📅︎ Sep 09 2020

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How do you get Mike Tyson's attention?

Tell him you're all ears.

[I just thought of this while eating dinner and I'm pretty happy with it. I chuckled, and even my partner didn't sigh her usual sigh!]

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/zipflop

📅︎ Nov 14 2020

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Why do you get German people's attention when sneezing?

ACH...

...TUNG!

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/pasha_07

📅︎ Dec 10 2020

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Not much attention but I'm proud enough of this one I came up with that I thought you may enjoy.

Relevant image on the post in which I made the joke:

https://imgur.com/gallery/6RjUUBx

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/SuchSalad4

📅︎ Dec 08 2020

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ATTENTION

🔨 <-- THIS IS NOT A DRILL

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/ExUltra02

📅︎ Oct 30 2020

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This one pirate i know jumped into the sea for attention

I think he went overboard

👍︎ 43

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👤︎ u/ObsessedWithLions

📅︎ Sep 20 2020

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Pay attention in class kids

👍︎ 52

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👤︎ u/raghav50w

📅︎ Sep 06 2020

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I wasn’t paying attention and poured too much creamer in my coffee

Had a blonde moment

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/SenpaiSusu

📅︎ Oct 31 2020

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What do seals do when they need medical attention?

Sea kelp

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/TheNeutralParty

📅︎ Aug 28 2020

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What nut is always begging for attention?

Pssst-tachios.

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/chexmp

📅︎ Aug 30 2020

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The next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span.

His name is 80-HD.

👍︎ 30

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👤︎ u/el_gregorio

📅︎ Aug 29 2020

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My doctor told me I had a short attention span

I can't remember what he said after that

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/ACSpeed

📅︎ Aug 19 2020

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Do you know what to say to get gold’s attention?

Say A U

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/BrainIsBouncing

📅︎ Jul 23 2020

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My cat scratches me to get my attention, I like to think he doesn't realize he's hurting me,

he just has issues with claws and effects.

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/newfranksinatra

📅︎ Jul 30 2020

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I am so broke.

I couldn't even pay attention.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/masspersuasion

📅︎ Feb 05 2021

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What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

👍︎ 8k

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👤︎ u/gambitK9

📅︎ Oct 13 2020

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What do you call a Wolf that pays attention.

Aware Wolf

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/ddiioonnaa

📅︎ Jul 07 2020

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Centaur of Attention

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/praisedalord1

📅︎ Apr 09 2020

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My girlfriend just left me. She said I wasn't paying enough attention to her.

Or something like that.

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/shiner_bock

📅︎ Jun 15 2020

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I was struggling to get my wife's attention

So I simply sat down and looked comfortable, that did the trick

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ May 17 2020

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I didn’t pay attention to what herb I bought

Turns out it was a big dill. I’m allergic.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/math-pro

📅︎ May 27 2020

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I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.

She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

👍︎ 6k

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👤︎ u/Brucemoose1

📅︎ Sep 30 2020

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All these deadly viruses we should be worried about, but when it comes to media attention...

... corona takes the crown

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/technically_a_user

📅︎ Mar 09 2020

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If Optimus Prime and his wife got a child...

.. and that child took all the attention growing up, Optimus Prime would become "trans(-)parent".

EDIT: I meant "had", not "got".

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Poustimou

📅︎ Jan 08 2021

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The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patient’s record...

The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patient’s record. A monkey that had been a healthy weight at its last checkup was now recorded as being only half that.

Fearing for the monkey’s health, he went and saw it, expecting it to be sickly and skeletal. However, the monkey seemed totally normal. Confused told his staff to weigh the monkey again.

They did, but the number they reported was still astonishingly low. Sure it was a mistake, he went to weigh the monkey for himself. But when he put the monkey on the scale, it showed a number that was still far too low, and couldn’t possibly be right.

After a moment he spotted the problem: behind the scale was a grab bar on the wall, and the monkey had stealthily grabbed it with its tail, and was supporting some of its weight off the scale that way.

So the monkey's weight was fine, they just weren't paying attention to de tail.

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/Swanbrother

📅︎ Jan 10 2021

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a hamster?

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/ATurtleLikeLeonUris

📅︎ Sep 26 2020

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Now are children are older, I get to appreciate my wife, a Fun, Attentive, Tender, Caring Old Woman

Sadly, she just focuses on acronyms though

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Sleep_adict

📅︎ Feb 22 2020

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"Attention passengers: I'd like to personally welcome you to my first day as a railway conductor. Not to worry though, you're in very capable hands...

I've been training for this."

👍︎ 18

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👤︎ u/NThruThe0utdoor

📅︎ Jan 28 2020

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When your lazy kohai never pays attention in class but always wants to see what you wrote down after

they're always like, "Notes me, senpai"

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/shujInsomnia

📅︎ Jan 06 2020