The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
He goes by Pennywise
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
Otherwise, I might accidentally some words out
Because very rarely is a medium well done.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.
As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple...all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."
As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"
She answered, "THE TEETH!"
"Her invisible jet."
Someone might sieze your salad.
Killed them both.
I said, “That’s Heinz sight for you.”
When I got home, they were still there.
It would be a nightmare.
They could be dead Lee.
....until they start whispering.
A selfish.
“Yemen”
Posted on shower thoughts first, they told me to bring it here. I should have thought of that first. Anyways here ya go.
.. just so glad She's now finally independent.
After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.
He'd been despatched.
It's written in the key of B flat.
...you could get be charged with 'assault with a dad-ly weapon'.
A chicken tender.
"I have no son"
"Thanks for supporting me"
I'm sure this has been done but it got a chuckle out of me
Edit wow, I wasn't expecting an award. Thank you kind stranger!
He knows milkshakes bring The Boys to the yard.
Hopefully you're familiar with the comic/show
He had no idea he had started a turf war.
He replied: A man is someone who is responsible and takes care of his family.”
Son: I hope one day I grow up to be a man just like Mom!
I guess they just find them irrelephant.
He didn’t give a schist.
.... because they’re full of anty bodies
Because they're nurse assists.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
Others might call it reWARDing.
I know. I’m sorry.
“It’s to look at.”
"Tanks a lot!"
After all, it was a low bar to climb.
Smiles. Because there's a mile between the two s.
Even the bags under my eyes are reusable.
On the other hand, you don’t.
On the other hand, you don’t.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
On the other hand, you don’t.
Chicken Tenders
A chicken tender.
