How do you get Mike Tyson's attention?
Tell him you're all ears.
[I just thought of this while eating dinner and I'm pretty happy with it. I chuckled, and even my partner didn't sigh her usual sigh!]
Why do you get German people's attention when sneezing?
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.
Not much attention but I'm proud enough of this one I came up with that I thought you may enjoy.
Relevant image on the post in which I made the joke:
🔨 <-- THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This one pirate i know jumped into the sea for attention
I think he went overboard
I wasn’t paying attention and poured too much creamer in my coffee
Pay attention in class kids
What nut is always begging for attention?
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
The next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span.
My doctor told me I had a short attention span
I can't remember what he said after that
Do you know what to say to get gold’s attention?
My cat scratches me to get my attention, I like to think he doesn't realize he's hurting me,
he just has issues with claws and effects.
What do you call a Wolf that pays attention.
My girlfriend just left me. She said I wasn't paying enough attention to her.
I was struggling to get my wife's attention
So I simply sat down and looked comfortable, that did the trick
I didn’t pay attention to what herb I bought
Turns out it was a big dill. I’m allergic.
All these deadly viruses we should be worried about, but when it comes to media attention...
... corona takes the crown
"Attention passengers: I'd like to personally welcome you to my first day as a railway conductor. Not to worry though, you're in very capable hands...
I've been training for this."
When your lazy kohai never pays attention in class but always wants to see what you wrote down after
they're always like, "Notes me, senpai"
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
Strugglng to get your wifes attention?
Just sit down and look comfortable!
People tell me to pay attention
But I dont have any money
What does a gold digger say to get someone’s attention?
In this wedding, the bride is the centaur of attention.
I couldn't pay attention in chemistry class until I made this
A group of people went into a maze to find a centaur. As they entered one man told the group: “Don’t bother going to the middle”, They responded: “Why?”, He replied: “They don’t like to be the centaur of attention”.
Man people have a really short attention span for Avengers: Endgame
Its only a twenty second movie
This is why I pay attention to the news
I am a representative from the r/PunPatrol and we have been seeing some of our officers have been arrested individuals on this server where in a peace treaty we have allowed Puns in this subreddit. We apologise for these rogue officers and have reported them to r/PunInternalAffairs . Thanks for understanding.
An old guy and a young guy were pushing their carts at Home Depot when they collided. The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”
The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”
The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”
The old guy says, “Doesn't matter, let’s look for yours.”
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have ........ a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
What does someone with attention deficit prefer to drink?
Orange Juice - it’s made from concentrate 😃
Attention readers of dadjokes: This is NOT a drill
My wife said that I should start paying more attention to what’s going on around me.
This music video drew my attention
No I wasn’t paying attention
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal...
sees you later or in a while.
I have the attention span of an
Did you know? You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.