How do you get a country girls attention?
I have the attention of a goldfish
Seriously, it’s been watching me for hours
A group of physicists came to my restaurant today, ate then explained what the force required to accelerate a mass of one gram at a rate of one centimeter per second squared is. Then when my attention was elsewhere, they all left, leaving behind a bunch of hyphens...
I should have known they'd dyne and dash.
This post might be a little ballsy. And if it gets a lot of attention, I might get cocky.
Someone likes being the center of attention.
Anakin was a bad student. Never paid attention in class, never took any tests seriously. All his teachers were angry with him. Teacher Obi-Wan was specially worried when he had to say,
"I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
What does a Norse god do when they don’t want to attract attention?
They stay low key (Loki).
My wife is afraid of my attention to her
Well, she's not my wife .........yet
Saw an old man jumping around and waving his arms to get his neighbor’s attention.
He must’ve been at deaf’s door.
I am so broke....
The bank asked for its calendar back.
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.
https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
How do you get Mike Tyson's attention?
Tell him you're all ears.
[I just thought of this while eating dinner and I'm pretty happy with it. I chuckled, and even my partner didn't sigh her usual sigh!]
Why do you get German people's attention when sneezing?
Pay attention in class kids
This one pirate i know jumped into the sea for attention
I think he went overboard
ATTENTION
🔨 <-- THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What nut is always begging for attention?
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
I wasn’t paying attention and poured too much creamer in my coffee
What do you have when you are holding two moth balls?
A moth's undivided attention.
I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6-year-old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
The next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span.
My doctor told me I had a short attention span
I can't remember what he said after that
Do you know what to say to get gold’s attention?
My cat scratches me to get my attention, I like to think he doesn't realize he's hurting me,
he just has issues with claws and effects.
Did you hear about Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend breaking into an animal shelter and releasing a bunch of huskies into the wild??
Turns out it was The Who that let the dogs out
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house.
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.
"Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.
"Yeah? What?" She responded.
"Was that you?" I called back.
After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"
I could not stop laughing.
What do you call a Wolf that pays attention.
I was struggling to get my wife's attention
So I simply sat down and looked comfortable, that did the trick
My girlfriend just left me. She said I wasn't paying enough attention to her.
I didn’t pay attention to what herb I bought
Turns out it was a big dill. I’m allergic.
All these deadly viruses we should be worried about, but when it comes to media attention...
... corona takes the crown
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
I guess I'm a cheapskate with ADHD
"Attention passengers: I'd like to personally welcome you to my first day as a railway conductor. Not to worry though, you're in very capable hands...
I've been training for this."
Now are children are older, I get to appreciate my wife, a Fun, Attentive, Tender, Caring Old Woman
Sadly, she just focuses on acronyms though
What did the man say during the fight scene in the Lion King?
“Pay attention, I think this may be the mane event!”
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
This music video drew my attention
https://preview.redd.it/zvki93lxox151.png?width=939&format=png&auto=webp&s=18ec66f3737f805d7e1fa7ad519cd53414111913
No I wasn’t paying attention
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
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