Do you guys know where I can watch "Pun"?
It's supposed to be this new play on words.
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch “Gaslight”
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
The genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
My wife and I watched 3 movies back to back last night.
Luckily I was the one facing the screen.
The YouTube Owl-gorithm decides hoo to watch 🦉
I made a belt of watches...
As we were at the top of the Eiffel Tower watching a beautiful sunset, I got down on one knee and said, “Honey?”
She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”
I said, “Help! My knee is made of magnets!”
What's the best time to go to a watch store?
I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.
I had the time of my life.
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
Why doesn't a schizophrenic get scared on watching a horror movie?
He knows that he is not alone.
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'
As a dad, I won't let my kids watch any shows on t.v. with orchestra in it....
Too much sax and violins.
I've just finished watching a documentary about beavers...
Best dam show I've ever seen.
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,
My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review."
I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."
Are you all watching the tests?
Watched a documentary on burping...
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
79% of people don't know opposite words for the following.
- Always
- Coming
- From
- Take
- Me
- Down
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.
Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.
Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend
Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
I recently watched a documentary on how ships are made
Why should we watch out for 2022?
Because it's Two thousand, twenty too.
What does Wonder Woman do before she goes to bed?
Met a suspicious guy in a graveyard trying to give me a watch.
The fact a body was attached to it made it a dead giveaway.
You know the problem with watching someone play a racing game?
I was watching an EzPz vid on r/Im14andthisisdeep, and thought I'd make a meme.
I watched a documentary about graphs, but it was really disappointing.
The plot was predictable. The special f(x) was terrible.
What kind of watch does Snow White like to wear?
Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock....
Don't let it replace your family.
What do you call watching 2 Hallmark movies back to back?
I watched a Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay video and there were lots of bugs in it.
There was a bug where an NPC in the game just phases through a door like there’s nothing right there.
Guess that’s what you get when watching a walkthrough gameplay video.
My belt broke, so I used my watch strap to fix it.
They fell down anyway. What a waist of time.
Watch out for those stairs!
They're up to something...
I always wanted to be a watch repairman
But I could never find the time
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
My mom always told me to watch before i cross the street...
Why did she always want me to check the time?
If you watch a movie about ducks...
Is it called a duckumentary?
When someone gifts you a watch
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
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