Do you guys know where I can watch "Pun"?
It's supposed to be this new play on words.
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︎ Apr 23 2017
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, โNo, only for the next couple of hours.โ
๐︎ 7k
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︎ Dec 31 2020
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch โGaslightโ
I told her โwe already watched that together, donโt you remember?โ
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︎ Sep 14 2020
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
The genie asked, "Whatโs your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "Whatโs your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
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︎ Dec 22 2020
My wife and I watched 3 movies back to back last night.
Luckily I was the one facing the screen.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
The YouTube Owl-gorithm decides hoo to watch ๐ฆ
๐︎ 5
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︎ Dec 29 2020
I made a belt of watches...
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︎ Dec 30 2020
As we were at the top of the Eiffel Tower watching a beautiful sunset, I got down on one knee and said, โHoney?โ
She gasped audibly and said, โYeah?โ
I said, โHelp! My knee is made of magnets!โ
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What's the best time to go to a watch store?
๐︎ 7
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︎ Dec 30 2020
I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.
I had the time of my life.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Why doesn't a schizophrenic get scared on watching a horror movie?
He knows that he is not alone.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'
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︎ Dec 30 2020
As a dad, I won't let my kids watch any shows on t.v. with orchestra in it....
Too much sax and violins.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I've just finished watching a documentary about beavers...
Best dam show I've ever seen.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,
My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review."
I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Are you all watching the tests?
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Watched a documentary on burping...
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
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︎ Dec 20 2020
79% of people don't know opposite words for the following.
- Always
- Coming
- From
- Take
- Me
- Down
๐︎ 999
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︎ Jan 05 2021
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.
Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend
Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
๐︎ 10k
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︎ Jul 29 2020
120 degrees
๐︎ 4k
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I recently watched a documentary on how ships are made
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Why should we watch out for 2022?
Because it's Two thousand, twenty too.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
What does Wonder Woman do before she goes to bed?
๐︎ 436
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Met a suspicious guy in a graveyard trying to give me a watch.
The fact a body was attached to it made it a dead giveaway.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
You know the problem with watching someone play a racing game?
๐︎ 3
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︎ Dec 27 2020
I was watching an EzPz vid on r/Im14andthisisdeep, and thought I'd make a meme.
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︎ Oct 09 2020
I watched a documentary about graphs, but it was really disappointing.
The plot was predictable. The special f(x) was terrible.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
What kind of watch does Snow White like to wear?
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock....
Don't let it replace your family.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
What do you call watching 2 Hallmark movies back to back?
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︎ Dec 26 2020
I watched a Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay video and there were lots of bugs in it.
There was a bug where an NPC in the game just phases through a door like thereโs nothing right there.
Guess thatโs what you get when watching a walkthrough gameplay video.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
My belt broke, so I used my watch strap to fix it.
They fell down anyway. What a waist of time.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Watch out for those stairs!
They're up to something...
๐︎ 13
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I always wanted to be a watch repairman
But I could never find the time
๐︎ 40
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︎ Nov 16 2020
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
๐︎ 10k
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︎ Jun 24 2020
My mom always told me to watch before i cross the street...
Why did she always want me to check the time?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
If you watch a movie about ducks...
Is it called a duckumentary?
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︎ Dec 02 2020
When someone gifts you a watch
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︎ Oct 27 2020
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
๐︎ 2k
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︎ Sep 26 2020
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