A condom manufacturer kept getting criticized because its new gimmicks never did anything for women. So they did what any good company would do and went to the most knowledgeable frog in the world for advice. You know what the frog said?

β€œRibbit.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Smacksmackums
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2019
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Employees at the ice cream shop were very knowledgeable about new flavors coming out...

They had the inside scoop

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2018
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Mister Information sounds like a knowledgeable guy while Miss Information sounds like a lying bitch
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whatshisuserface
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2015
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Knowledge is never free...

You pay attention

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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My wife tested my knowledge of common household herbs, and I’m happy to say I got 4 out of 5 right.

I was parsley correct.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HisMajestyTheEmperor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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... In an ocean of knowledge. Sea what I did there?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Curlygig
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
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Did you know Australia is the world leader in knowledge about cans?

Yeah apparently its full of can-gurus!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deathcomrad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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My friend has a lot of knowledge about Islamic festivals.

She's really eiducated.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sunflower_44
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.

I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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I told my boss, β€œSorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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A King Fisher. More of a visual pun that requires knowledge on birds. Photoshopped myself
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deatln0t
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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I must admit, I joined this subreddit despite not being a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.

I feel like a father figure now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2020
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Knowledge
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2019
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During quarrantine I decided to enrich my science knowledge and started reading a book about anti-gravity.

I couldn't put it down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/enganere
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
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So sad
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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What do you call a dog with knowledge or perception of a situation or fact?

Aware Wolf.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Infinite_Thing
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2020
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In Greek mythology, Chiron was half man, half horse. He had knowledge and wisdom in medicine.

You could say he was the centaur for disease control

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
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Mantra of the Kansas City Chiefs' defensive line

The Bucs Stop Here!

Edit: thank you for alerting me it's "bucs" not "bucks". My dad experience (4 months) is better than my football knowledge

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redditredemptiontoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2021
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Who always wins at the army quiz nights?

General Knowledge

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pjburnhill
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
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What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?

The treefrontal cortex.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nubsnivel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2019
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Why can't blind people eat ocean fish?

Because it's see-food!

my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.

edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.

thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day

πŸ‘οΈŽ 150
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyberrich
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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Did you hear about the lawyer who learned on the job?

He gained all his knowledge through trials and error.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LoudMouse327
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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What's the difference between theoretical and practical knowledge?

In theory, there is no difference.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2019
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My ex wife had an insatiable appetite for knowledge

She was an info maniac

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2019
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A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 260
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DweadPiwateWoberts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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My knowledge isn't too good when it comes to Greek mythology

It's always been my Achilles elbow

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_mazda_driver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2019
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Courtesy of Transport for Greater Manchester. May require minor football knowledge..
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2019
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Complimented a friend on her musical knowledge today...

Me:

> I don't know how you find the time to listen to so many bands.

She replied:

> Yeah, I just have a lot of bandwidth.

Normally, I'm the one with the awful puns. I paused, saw her grin, and had to high five her.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rand486
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2015
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Those who have knowledge are wise.

Those without knowledge are otherwise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stjimmy101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2019
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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Little known Star Wars knowledge imgur.com/fPft6Sa
πŸ‘οΈŽ 312
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thepobv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2015
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Did you know that one of King Arthur's men was always full of useless facts and knowledge????

Yep, he was the trivia knight.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LilDaisyLion4869
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2019
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When it comes to metaphors about knowledge, no ledge is too high to aspire to
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thisguysucks2much
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2019
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I tried picking up this girl today by sharing my extensive knowledge of the Titanic, but she wasn't impressed.

I guess you could say it wasn't a very effective ice breaker.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Godredd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2019
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I aced my test on my knowledge of cheese

It was a brie-ze

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2018
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Knowledge is power

TIL Schrodinger might have been the most prolific cat killer in history

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nearlyrandom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2019
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A man is sitting in the hospital with his newborn baby when his own father walks in.

Father: "So, how does it feel being a dad?"

Son: "It feels good. I'm a bit scared of course, but so excited at the same time. How does it feel being a grandfather?"

Father: "It feels pretty great. You've always been a good son and I've been patiently waiting for this special moment. There's something now that I have to give you."

The son watches curiously as his father pulls a large tome out of his backpack with exquisite text on the cover: 'The Big Book of Dad Jokes'.

Father: " For generations these sacred texts have been passed down through the patriarchs of our family. My father gave it to me when you were born and now, as a new father yourself, I bestow it to you. With this book you will have all the knowledge needed to become a truly great Dad."

Son: " Wow, Dad, this is amazing! Truly! I'm... I'm honored."

The father smiles as he extends his arm out to shake his son's hand and says,

"Nice to meet you, Honored. I'm Dad."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 215
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2020
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What currency do astronauts use in space?

Starbucks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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Everyone should know that cows have four stomach compartments.

It's ruminantary knowledge!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/twowheeledfun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2020
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I work for the railroad, so they thought I was imparting important knowledge

Me: "I can tell a train just went through here" Wife and son: "How?" Me: "It left it's tracks" Wife goes back to reading book, son puts headphones back on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stinksnots
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2015
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Y'all acting like overclocking is an expert thing
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2018
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My lack of knowledge of Greek Mythology...

...is my Achille’s knee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 516
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2016
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What part of the brain deals with the knowledge of trees?

The treefrontal cortex.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nubsnivel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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