That's where I draw the line.
I just found out you get to work with dikes and strippers.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
She said go ahead.
I stood up said “plethora” and sat back down.
“Thank you”, the grieving widow responded, “it means a lot”
It was placed in Emmental ward to recover
I think they called it Allah carte
Shoe fly don't bother me.
It’s the neck.
Russian roulette
"Swarm."
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
I finally worked it out.
Its ass.
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”
“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”
His name is.....
Choo choo Twain!
Éclairvoyance
Its pawsible, very pawsible.
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
Rudeolph.
It can get re-heated the next day as well
David’s stone
It is the sitting around for 8 hours waiting to go home I can't stand.
His butt
Oooohm
But yesterday it was All Night Long
It was a match made in heaven.
"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."
It just needs a little Polish
Just thinking about it makes me shutter
It's going nuts
I was bee-trayed.
But Iran out of them
Spoiled milk
I thought knot.
Because they’re patient
Croakaine.
(Thanks Sam Reigel)
"No way, dad!"
knocks bottle over with hands My mind controls my hands. Now where's my $5?!
Funny, right?
