I bought my wife a book on Mindfulness... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elokwins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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Dont mind if i dooo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oliv071b
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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I don't mind foreign dishes, for example we ate some halal food last week

I think they called it Allah carte

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ledgerdemaine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Which game was a result of a mind blowing idea?

Russian roulette

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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This pun made me lose my mind
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

Its ass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemonlimeaardvark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davebelieves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I’m gonna give you a piece of my mind

My mi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tifytify
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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He has a one track mind. Mark Twain is his father.

His name is.....

Choo choo Twain!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Did you know cats can read minds?

Its pawsible, very pawsible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RufusHalloween
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What do you call a superpower that lets you locate french pastries with your mind?

Γ‰clairvoyance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_stevel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Which of Santa's reindeer needs to mind his manners the most ?

Rudeolph.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Why you can't read minds. (Credit: how.how)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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The first woman who gave brain had an open mind.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edwinflames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated

It can get re-heated the next day as well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What was the last thing the crossed Goliath’s mind before he died

David’s stone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTombstoneswe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kr4zyy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I don't mind going to work every day

It is the sitting around for 8 hours waiting to go home I can't stand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What’s the last thing through a bugs mind when he hits your cars windshield?

His butt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matty_Boosie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I woodnt mind
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathWish07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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My neighbors always play Lionel Richie very loudly and usually I don't mind.....

But yesterday it was All Night Long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirtweed_dude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Mind-blowing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marjooy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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A widow is mourning at her husband's grave site. A gentleman walks by and says "If you don't mind, I'd like to say a word."

"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Two inventors died and ascended to heaven. There, they met each other and with their brilliant minds created a brand new form of fire making utensil.

It was a match made in heaven.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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What shoe can’t make up its mind?

Flip flops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbortedMunk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Don't mind Cyberpunk 2077's delay

It just needs a little Polish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RovingReaver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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This was on my mind for a while after being a candidate for so many job openings.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pallabpain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I hooked up a spooky mind control device to a windowblind making machine

Just thinking about it makes me shutter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkstarman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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What does a squirrel do when it loses its mind

It's going nuts

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.

I was bee-trayed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaStrangr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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People don’t mind long lines at the hospital

Because they’re patient

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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I did have some jokes about the Middle East in mind...

But Iran out of them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanfan90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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What mind of milk do you get from a rich cow?

Spoiled milk

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Have you ever seen me tie my shoelaces with my mind?

I thought knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Betcha $5 I can move that bottle with my mind...

"No way, dad!"

knocks bottle over with hands My mind controls my hands. Now where's my $5?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I've got a joke for all you mind readers out there

Funny, right?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyMase04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My teacher told me to draw what's on my mind

Ever since then, I've been drawing blanks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Why are cats considered mindful when their is an open gift box nearby?

Because they always live in the present.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Son: Daddy there’s a spider in my room. Dad: he’s fine, he’s just minding his own business. Son: what business does a spider have?

Dad: web design.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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My dog got a lot on his mind

He's been pawndering all day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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This is where getting high everyday will land you.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I recently invested in bouillon cubes.

My assets aren’t liquid, but they can be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibided
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I don't mind breakfast in bed

...but I prefer it in a bowl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paradeqia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Winning a German sausage eating contest is all about your mind set

You hope for the best, but prepare for the wurst

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ali_whi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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When you think of 2020, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

Coronavirus, right off the bat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/richy923
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.

I turn to her and say β€œI bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”

Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnpowers99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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What do you call a bee who can’t make up his mind?

A maybe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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when all you have in mind while learning chemistry is about making puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hydorian_Shieo
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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There's not just leap years. A leap second is a one-second adjustment that is occasionally applied to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC)! Without it, GPS wouldn't work! Want me to really blow your mind?

There's also leap-frogs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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