Do you guys know where I can watch "Pun"?
It's supposed to be this new play on words.
Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.
I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
What do you call someone who can't stop watching films with strong female leads?
While watching Harry Potter once, I said to my Dad “I wonder what the Hogwarts version of a dirty magazine would be” as Harry was rooting through his chest of things.
Without skipping a beat he said “Whorelocks.”
Watching the movie ' Grease ' to take my mind off some vaccine side effects, however..
I got chills..they're multiplying.
What watches over a castle when the sun goes down?
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too..
Edit: thank you for awards, I have never gotten one before. I apologize that this is a repost, I did see it on TikTok and thought that it was cute and wanted to share. In the future I will check the sub for similar content before I post anything.
What do you call a belt made of watches?
Why do I always get a sinking feeling when I watch the Titanic?
Just floating the question out there.... Can anyone give me a tip?
He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
Why did the cat like watching his owners have sex?
Was watching a nature show about whales.
How do the Orcas know how to hunt together?
They must orca-strate it.
Groans from around the room.
I've just watched the Mexican remake of Highlander
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
Re-watching Hot Shots 2, just noticed this jem
I watched one of those really good black and white movies the other day
Interracial porn is great
If a belt made of watches is a waist of time...
Then a belt that has a diagram of the solar system must be a waist of space.
I just watched a horror movie where an old couple is chased around by probiotic yogurt.
It was called Paranormal Activia.
I attached all my watches together, to make a belt
I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.
It was too time consuming.
I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on my mobile and the feed shut off.
I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.
Watched the origami world championships last night,
It was on pay-per-view.
Bit of a scam though,
Both teams folded.
I watched a movie called Tight Rolex.
Today I donated my watch, phone and 100 euros to a poor guy
You don't know the happiness I felt as he put his knife back in his pocket
Just finished watching a film about a serial killer who dresses up in brightly coloured sweaters....
It's called 'Knitwear On Elm Street.'
Someone knocked on my door yesterday, he was selling belts with watches on them!
I said, ‘I’m good thanks, they’re a waist of time’
I felt overwhelmed with emotion while watching a documentary about the Mariana trench.
Why can't Thanos watch the Argentinian history musical?
I’ve never been a watch person
But now I’ve got the time to be
What does a man who lost his watch say?
I don't have time for this!
I finally got to watch this documentary on herbs and spices
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
I like watching videos of whales.
It's for research porpoises.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
I just watched a documentary on Crystal Meth.
I think all documentary should be watched this way.
Scientists became so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours
I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.
I really like watching animes.
But sometimes the plot is too drawn out.
What type of primates love to watch slasher movies?
My smart watch never syncs properly...
“Tape it to a brick, then it will sink really well”
What do you call a belt made out of watches?
What do you call a belt made of watches?
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
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