Anybody who can complete tasks atop the surface of their lower kitchen cabinets is...

...counter productive.

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👤︎ u/slowshot
📅︎ Jan 18 2019
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The pet bird gets so happy when he perches atop our wall clock.

He's completely over the noon

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📅︎ Oct 17 2017
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The downside to living atop a hill is... well everything
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👤︎ u/McCossum
📅︎ Sep 11 2017
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So my college is atop this hill ...

... and students have to walk up the stairs to get to school.

Now, would you say that it's a place of 'higher education' ??

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📅︎ Mar 11 2016
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Atop the Sydney Harbour Bridge, my dad pulled this one off

Dad: So how many climbs do you do in a day?

Tour guy: Today I have three. We've never had a full 24hrs, come close to it though. One day I started at 3am, and finished the next morning at 1am, we then had another tour at 3am.

Dad: I guess you could say that you almost bridged the gap.

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📅︎ Dec 07 2015
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saw a t-rex at the gym yesterday

he was pretty dino-sore the next day

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📅︎ Dec 15 2017
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Japan's emporer.

Japan's emporer.
Deposed atop mount fuji.
That was a high coup.

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👤︎ u/SumDryGuy
📅︎ Sep 21 2017
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A misunderstood goat

I once had a goat. One that nobody understood why he did the things he did, and he resented us all for it. So much so that he would head butt and attack anyone that tried to get close. He was just such a misunderstood soul. One day, I was looking out the window with my morning coffee when I saw that a passing stranger was sitting atop that old and rusted '55 Chevy pickup that sat in the pasture petting the goat. The goat had finally found someone that really understood him. I watched amazed as this stranger reached a closeness with the goat that I myself would never know . "Wow" I whispered to myself, "that man really gets my goat..."

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👤︎ u/auzzy2387
📅︎ Sep 12 2013
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Dad Joke a Guy at Work

I helped out a manager at another area of my work place, bringing a leveler to adjust a table. After I finished, I was walking back to my work area when I noticed a guy who works there had his dinner out in a sealed Tupperware.

This guy has been on a food diet for some months. I walk up to him, place the level atop of his Tupperware. When the bubble rests in between the lines, I tell him "Looks like you're maintaining a well-balanced diet." He shook his head at me and I continued on my way.

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👤︎ u/DD225
📅︎ Apr 06 2015
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Girlfriend works at a Dermatology Clinic, this just happened

Her boss, the head doctor, wasn't in a good mood this morning so I say:

Me: "Hopefully she doesn't get under your skin too much."

Her: "Oh that was awful. Really got me skin deep there."

Me: "Yeah I was a little rash with that word choice, but I'm not even sorry. Hopefully atopic better than this will arise."

Her: "groans over text"

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👤︎ u/mcm93
📅︎ Dec 21 2015
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We dont have a treetopper for the Christmas tree.

My younger sister says we don't have a fairy to go on the top. My dad walks out for a short time. We hear him washing some dishes. He comes back with an empty bottle of fairy liquid (dish soap called fairy) takes the top off it and places it atop the tree.

Dunno how long its going to be there.

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👤︎ u/Imsquishie
📅︎ Dec 23 2014
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