She was wired
Because every time she smiled she had a bluetooth.
Me: She's just a robot, I don't think she ever feels fear.
My son: She's scared of getting Alexa-cuted.
She said: "How about walking through the room naked?"
Me: "Because the basement is down under the house"
Jeff BezOS
You can't tell her anything.
"What would you like me to call him?"
everyone says hey.
She signed up to sing The Killers. Right before she sang, I said, "Alexa, play The Killers."
Get Alexapro.
We were playing with a friend's new Amazon Alexa:
Alexa! Tell me a dirty joke!
I'm thinking of selling my vacuum cleaner. It's just gathering dust.
Yep, Alexa is a Dad.
The only campus I am allowed to visit rn is the hippocampus. Alexa, play memories π§
Alexa
To get to the other side effects.
~~ brazenly stolen from Alexa with my own twist.
Hours.
Today is laundry day.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
(Context: our Amazon Alexa uses the keyword 'echo' and my daughter doesn't have one in her room)
The following conversation took place in my daughter's room:
Me: Echo, turn on the lights.
Daughter: There's no echo in here.
Me: Pardon?
Daughter: There's no echo in here.
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
I hope.
We walked into him giggling having just asked Alexa to change the lights to blue.
My brother is still cracking up and very proud.
Trespassito
^((i am so sorry, alexa play despacito))
A Drake!
*Not my joke, I asked my Amazon Alexa to tell me a joke and this is what she said. This deserves some exposure imo :)
alexa good job
talking to the Amazon echo
Me: Alexia play eminem
Son: Alexa stop! Daddy tell it to play skittles
Me: Do you mean skrillex?
Son: No skittles
Me: Buddy I don't know of a band called that
Son: Then why is there a band called Eminem???
That joke courtesy of Alexa.
Asked Amazon's Echo speaker (I guess her name is Alexa) to tell me a bad joke.
Alexa: "there's music coming from the printer, the paper must be jamming"
