For My Birthday My Kids Gave Me An Alarm Clock That Sweared At Me Instead Of Buzzing.
It was quite a rude awakening.
Source: Corny Dad Jokes
The alarm clock may be bulky, dirty, and poorly designed
But it's what's on the inside that counts.
Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.
It would be truly alarming.
If you don’t want to oversleep don’t just set your Alarms...
But make sure you set your Blarms and Clarms too!
The most important thing to me is my alarm clock
It’s what gets me out of bed in the morning
Why did The conservative get rid of his alarm clock?
Because every morning it wanted him to get woke
I worked security at a chemical plant. There had been a string of robberies at nearby chemical plants, and one night... lo and behold- we heard the alarm...
My coworker and I tried to apprehend them but they were just too phosphorus…
Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock....
Don't let it replace your family.
My most enlightening appliance is my alarm clock.
Whenever it rings, I get woke!
I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was REALLY good at it...
If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of ringing.
He is in for a rude awakening.
What do you call an alarm that doesn’t go off ?
Had a chance to get frisky with the wife this morning, but my alarm went off.
I guess I got clock-blocked.
Have you ever tried eating an alarm clock?
I wouldn't recommend it, it's very time consuming.
They say you should test your fire alarm at least once a month...
But it’s costing me a fortune in houses...
I use my cell phone as an alarm clock.
I call it Veriz'n shine..
What do you call an alarm clock that always goes off at 3am in the morning?
What do you call it when the fire alarm goes off during sex
My son is mad at his alarm clock,
He’s been calling it “Fake snooze” 😴
I’m going to invent “alarm clock pants”.
To help everyone who’s legs keep falling asleep!
I recently changed my alarm clock music to a Justin Bieber song.
Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day so that I don’t have to listen to it.
What’s the difference between my stupid neighbour and an alarm clock?
Alarm clock screams before I punch it
My wife always complains about the gifts I buy for her. This time I got her a Tourette’s alarm clock.
She is in for a rude awakening.
How did people wake up before alarm clocks?
I raised the alarm at work today....
The midgets were furious.
I bought a smoke alarm.
It tells me when it's time for a cigarette.
What do you call an alarm set for 5:56?
Alarm clocks are great but the snooze button was even better. Because after sleeping for eight hours, what I need...
I was hungry, so I ate my alarm clock
It was pretty time consuming
Alarms
Another word for Octopus.
I've got a Blur alarm clock. So I'm always waking up to Park Life.....
Except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awoken by the dustmen.
Most people set their morning alarms on the hour (ie. 6am, 7am, 8am), but mine goes off half-clocked
When seeing a sign for an alarm
The door is alarmed... The lights are startled too
The alarm is sounded at the batcave. Batman runs to the batmobile but it won't turn on. He tells robin to grab a new battery.
Robin says: What's a tery?
For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of beeping.
He’s in for a rude awakening.
For his upcoming birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that would swear at him instead of ringing.
He’s in for a rude awakening.
For her birthday, I gave my wife an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping.
She’s in for a rude awakening.
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
For her birthday, I gave my wife an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping.
She’s in for a ride awakening.
For Christmas, I’m getting my kids an alarm clock that swears at them instead of ringing.
They are in for a rude awakening.
What if you hit your alarm clock one morning and it hits you back?
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was a rude awakening.
Have you ever eaten an alarm clock?
It’s very time consuming.
For her birthday, I got my wife a Tourette’s Alarm Clock.
She is in for a rude awakening.
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