Afterwards Puns

I told him I Reddit

Me: it was an adjustment

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

I said, "we'll see"

If that ever happens to you, quit while you're ahead

Get it? Met-a-four?

After he explodes his hand I look down at my still clenched fist. I slowly raise it near my ear confused and shake it. I then explode it in my face almost knocking me off me feet. I look at him sternly and say, "You could have killed me."

Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

Helium doesn't react.

Such a practice sounds barbarous to me.

There was no poop. She was just Putin.

Me: There's a dense fog rolling into Cleveland from the lake.

Dad: That's eErie.

pause

followed by laughter on both ends

I asked if she wanted me to pour her a glass of water ('cause I'm a gentleman yo) and she said 'yes please'. I said 'say stop'.

start pouring

'Thank you'

keep pouring

'That's enough..'

keep pouring

'STOP!'

stop pouring and smile like an idiot

Have you heard the newly evolved form of Ebola? It's much more dangerous. . . It's called Eplata

Dad: Hey is that burger place "Five Guys" good?

Me: Yeah it's okay but it's pretty damn expensive.

Dad: We should go to "One Guy" than... I bet it'll be cheaper!

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.