And god said to John “come forth and ye shall receive eternal life.”
But John came in fifth and only got a toaster.
My three year old girl asked me, "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation, so I explained, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"
"Yes." she replied.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"
She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
This is dope. (Yes, weed is illegal in India)
Is your name Michael? Yes or No?
Thank you for your participation.
I'm doing a Mike Check.
Mom: "Are you alright?" Me: "Yes I am...
Ah yes. I can speak mandarin too
Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole's Law?
No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing.
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
Q) WHO DECLARED CORONA AS A PANDEMIC? A) Yes.
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, “Are you single?” The woman replies, “Yes, how could you tell?”
Yes, those are chickens and yes that is a ...
The bank man asked me my birthday. I said April 17. He said "Yes, What year?"
Quarantine day 25: Found my husband working on the patio with his scroll saw. Yes. It's a scale model.
I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd shaped onions. When I got home my wife asked should she use them for dinner tonight, I told her "Yes, but they're quite strong so...
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
Warned my son about the dangers of drugs today. Told him a story about a girl I knew who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time. Surprised, he asked, "Really?" I replied, "Yes, absolutely true."
"She became a little spore addict."
Flexing my 4 pairs of Ye Zees
I said yes to my dentist wife
She accepted me with all my floss.
Well yes, but actually no
While having dinner last night, my daughter looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" Proudly, I replied, "Yes, my little princess, yes I am!"
She continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Yes I tell dad jokes
Sometimes he laughs at them
"You didn't secure the trailer properly????have you lost your marbles?!" "Why, yes. Yes I have"
- Will Will Smith smith Will Smith? - Yes. Will Smith will smith Will Smith. - Your will may get stronger if you watch "Pursuit of Happiness"
Yes, I stole this from facebook.
I broke my hand last week, at the hospital thinking it was permanently damaged, I asked the Doctor if I’d be able to play guitar. He replied “Yes, after you’ve taken time to heal”
I was ecstatic, I’ve always wanted to know how to play.
Ah yes, Yale. Very smart, big brain
Yes, I'm a tailor who is a bit hard of hearing
Ah yes, enslaved kindness
A friend asked me if i read the book and i said "yes, i have ..."
Hmm well yes I suppose so
I'm Adam. In the spirit of Kanye shortening his name to Ye, I'm going to be a more positive person and shorten mine to Ad.
I say yes to pretty much everything.
If you ask me why, I'll tell you I don't no.
yes
introverts can be called social vegans who stay away from "meet"
Ah yes, they have arrived😲😣😮
Ah yes, the whiteboard pun...
And the Lord said onto John " Come Forth and ye shall receive eternal life."
But sadly John came in fifth and only received a toaster.
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