He had different kinds of jokes for each maiden, as he knew they each had different types of humor. Margaret was first, and the knight stood before her and tried out a new knock knock joke. A boy watching nearby asked his mother, "why did he tell her a knock knock joke?" The mother replied, "well sweetie that's because her husband used to always tell them, so she appreciates them more." Next was Priscilla, and as the knight stood before her he tried out the joke the court jester told him. "Why did the knight use a court jester joke?" Asked the boy. "Well sweetie that's because Priscilla isnt very bright and she wouldnt understand most other jokes." Finally it was Dawn's turn. The knight began his joke but the mother quickly covered the boys ears. "Why did you do that?" Asked the boy. "Because you are too young for the humor the knight uses on her, and the knight is always darkest before Dawn."
I decided to woo her.
To wit: to woo.
It's too wet to woo.
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
Woo! Tang is forever!
My son said, "look dad, they're all lovey-dovey!"
Never been more proud!
The tur-KEY.
Also, the key to a fun visit to the zoo is the mon-key.
And the key to a great science fiction movies is a Woo-key.
To ensure the maximum amount of eye-rolls, casually drop these into the conversation several minutes apart.
Whoโs there? Woo Woo who?
Why are you excited?
One of my first Dad joke attempts and my kids didnโt even get it, sigh.
I have a girl I want to woo and take her to prom but I need some good material that is funny and gets to the point, I know this isnโt a joke but i really wanna take her to prom
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
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French cow: le moo
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Backwards cow: oom
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Upside down cow: woo
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Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
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Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
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Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
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Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
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Cow in disguise: Baa
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Horse in disguise: Moo
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Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
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Inaudible cow:
All I had to do was wok in for my interview!
anytime one passes me on the road i just hear โem bragging about โwe wooโ.
Because itโs too wet to woo.
Nobody knows
Woo Han!
I told him it's much easier to woo a cake.
My mom had surgery on her arm today. When she got out, my dad was joking with the nurse asking when she'd be able to vacuum, do the dishes, etc. Nurse just rolled her eyes at everything.
My mom in an attempt to curb his joking, said 'By the way, honey, the doctor said no sex for a month'
He responds instantly with 'Okay, what'd the dentist say?'
Took my mom a minute to get it.
One of my wife's bosses is from China with the family name Wong.
Wife was telling me that said boss just had a baby a few months ago.
(At this moment, my dad powers started kicking in...)
Me: "Huh, that's cool. When her husband visits the office next time, you should ask them if the baby's Caucasian."
Wife: "What?! Why?"
Me: Cause I wanna know if two 'Wongs' make a 'White'..."
Her eyes rolled so hard they detached.
Edit: Thanks for front page folks! Glad I could make you laugh (or groan...)
Edit 2: Thank you for the gold!
Edit 3: WIFE'S IN THE THREAD!! Abort! Abort! Wee woo wee woo wee woo
WOO HOO!
But I donโt want to break it.
Knock knock
Whoโs there?
Duck Tales
Duck Tales who?
WOO!๐ถWife: Woo! You're the best. Gooooo husband!
With a hog-tie.
It's too wet to woo.
A rapscallion.
It's too wet to woo
I work at Tim Horton's (Coffee shop in the Northeast US/Canada).
Lady: Can I have a medium with nothing in it?
Me: Okay, but do want the coffee too?
Too wet to woo
Because it's too-wet-to-woo
For reference: Link to wiki
Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:
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Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."
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Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."
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Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".
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Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."
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A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".
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Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."
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A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."
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A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."
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A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."
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Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."
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A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".
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In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".
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Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"
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Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."
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The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"
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An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"
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An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"
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Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"
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A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"
Sorry about the possible typos.
Woo
Brown Spots on the Wall by Woo Flung Poo
Yellow River by I. P. Nightly
Under The Bleachers by Seymour Bawtz
40 Yards to the Outhouse written by Will E. Mayket, illustrated by Betty Whont
Two weeks to woo
Because it's too wet to woo
