My wife told me to stop making references to Bruce Willis films.

I said, β€œSorry, dear. Old habits die hard.”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2023
🚨︎ report
There was a guy with a small willy....

And he said it's "Not That Big" of a deal....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Luke_low
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2023
🚨︎ report
What does Willie Nelson sing when he has diarrhea?

On the Commode Again….

Sorry. I have Covid and thought of this while feeling β€œinspired.”

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2022
🚨︎ report
I can’t stop talking about Bruce Willis movies. I guess old habits,

Armageddon.

πŸ‘︎ 415
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ky_Mr_Mrs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2022
🚨︎ report
Willy Wonka once fired his lead accountant on the spot.

He was accused of not fudging the numbers.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikesidehugs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2022
🚨︎ report
What does a janitor yell when he comes out of the closet?

SUPPLIES!!!

πŸ‘︎ 912
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MAFFACisTrue
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2023
🚨︎ report
How would Michael Jackson get eliminated if he were on Willy Wonka’s tour?

He’d get hit by, he’d get struck by a smooth caramel

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Starfreak900
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2022
🚨︎ report
Such a punny Dino. Credit-standup t-rex reddit.com/gallery/zz8ca1
πŸ‘︎ 658
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2022
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his willy.

The bartender says "Oi, mate! Did you notice the steering wheel on your willy?"

"Yar," says the pirate, "It's drivin' me nuts!"

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Your_Enabler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2022
🚨︎ report
Bruce Willis and Whoopi Goldberg team up in a new crossover movie!

Sister Act 3: Old Habits Die Hard

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HarryJ92
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2022
🚨︎ report
What do eskimos get if they sit on the ice for too long?

Polarrhoids

πŸ‘︎ 251
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slumber_kitty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2022
🚨︎ report
If a bunch of orcs got together

Is it an orcy?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justmeoh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2023
🚨︎ report
Where did little Willy go to learn how to make a Banana Split?

Sundae school!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystic_Pizza_King
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2022
🚨︎ report
How do you defeat a swarm of flies?

Call in the SWAT team.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prlugo4162
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2022
🚨︎ report
One of my favorite books "Race to the outhouse"

By: Willie Maket

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JamoreLoL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Willie Nelson?

He got hit by a car.

He was playing On the Road Again.

[edit: removed quotation marks.]

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InaneJargon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2022
🚨︎ report
I asked my brother β€œhave you seen the dog bowl?”

He replied β€œI’m still really annoyed about that, Willy!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moorda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2023
🚨︎ report
Have you heard how Willie Nelson died?

He was playing on the road again. -my music history teacher.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/astroidbuster2453
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2022
🚨︎ report
My date said shes only into men with 30cm willys

I said I may not have 12 inches, but it kinda smells like a foot

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dustaknuckz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
🚨︎ report
Today's label making craft was inspired by the OG spicy boi himself, Bruce Willis.
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bizarrekevlar
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Spanish flasher?

Seen your Willie.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PERFUM0S
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did production not decrease at Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory during the current labor strike.

Oompa Loompas are already short staffed.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 0-7

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rahotherealamk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2022
🚨︎ report
My friend who had a baby woodpecker for a pet met with an accident that, unfortunately, left him castrated.

After a successful surgery to fit him a prosthetic willy, he returned home to live with two little wood 'peckers'.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vanpierreddit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2022
🚨︎ report
I have terrible news. Willie Nelson has been struck by a car.

He was singing on the road again.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the ghost starch his sheets?

He wanted everyone scared stiff

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/taigeis_bhlasta
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the group of Killer Whales that killed a Great White shark?

It was an Orcastrated attack.

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vivid_Ad_55
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2022
🚨︎ report
What's Willy Wonka's favorite dog??

Chocolate Lab

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MahlonMurder
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Willy Wonka's everlasting jobstopper.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
"I have a split personality." said Tom,

Being Frank.

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Odd_Relation6439
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2022
🚨︎ report
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zenithh7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You've heard of Wooly Willy, now get ready for...
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stop thinking about Bruce willis movies. I guess old habits

Pulp fiction.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daymanahaha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Willie nelson just got hit by a car.

He was playing on the road again.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Far-Resist3844
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Willie Nelson died

He was playing on the road again.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thadirt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I want a movie with Whoopi Goldberg and Bruce Willis where they learn to do new things.

It should be called β€˜Old Habits Die Hard’

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Plausibl3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2021
🚨︎ report
1 pun was hidden from this page. Show all.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.