I tried donating blood today... NEVER AGAIN!!! Too many questions.
Like, "Who's blood is this?", "How did you get it?"
"Why is it in a bucket?"
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︎ May 27 2021
I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography
Turns out I canβt focus!
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? No?
You donβt know what youβre missing.
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︎ May 27 2021
Tried to take a selfie in the shower.
It turned out all blurry. I think I have selfie steam issues.
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︎ May 21 2021
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that again, I could've killed myself!
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︎ May 27 2021
I tried to make my login password "Beefstew"
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︎ May 07 2021
A girl named Autumn tried to prank me.
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︎ Apr 18 2021
When I was in France I tried to climb a huge tower
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︎ May 06 2021
Someone tried to sell me a coffin today
I said that's the last thing I need
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︎ May 05 2021
My friend tried to steal a copy of "Free Fallin'" from a music store...
He was arrested for Petty theft.
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︎ May 24 2021
I tried being a vegetarian...
But realized it was a big missed steak
π︎ 32
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︎ May 13 2021
I tried to find a pun about carpentry
π︎ 282
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans
But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E
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︎ Apr 07 2021
I tried catching fog today...
π︎ 49
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︎ May 09 2021
I tried to think of a joke about superglue.
π︎ 14
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︎ May 23 2021
I tried to talk to my doctor about circumcision
He just talked in circles
π︎ 4
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︎ May 22 2021
I tried to tell a joke about a guillotine
I didn't execute it properly
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︎ Apr 21 2021
I tried to mend my kids tricycle but gave up..
we were both just two-tyred
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︎ May 29 2021
Have you ever tried to prepared bread?
π︎ 4
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︎ May 12 2021
I tried to catch the fog one day
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I tried to come up with a pun about carpentry, but itβs harder than it sounds.
Almost nothing wood work.
π︎ 24
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︎ Apr 17 2021
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that itβs perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but heβs not buying it. In fact...
Heβs still making fun of me...
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I tried to find out what a proctologist was...
But I just couldnβt get to the bottom of it.
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︎ May 12 2021
I tried to convince my wife to try this new Indian restaurant by telling her about the free appetizer.
She told me that was a naan starter.
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︎ May 28 2021
What did the yoga instructor say when their landlord tried to evict them??
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︎ May 14 2021
Did you hear about the girl who tried to smuggle drugs in her bra ?
Police said, it led to a bigger bust.
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π
︎ Mar 30 2021
I tried making up a joke about unemployment...
...but it just didn't work.
π︎ 31
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︎ May 06 2021
I tried street racing once and lost.
I was out of breath after two blocks, but the street kept going for miles.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
I tried skipping rope. But I ended up being tied up.
That was knot my intention.
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︎ May 08 2021
Anton LaVey tried to sign with a NBA team
But he was told he doesn't have a shot in hell.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 17 2021
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 25 2021
I Tried to Make a Dam out of Paper...
But the seepage was too hard to control.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 20 2021
Last year i went to paris and tried to climb the tallest building
π︎ 24
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︎ May 04 2021
I tried to tell my vaccinated friend a COVID joke.
π︎ 25
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Tried stealing a leg of lamb from the store
A staff asked me what I am doing with that. I replied, "Roasted with potatoes, vegetables and a lamb sauce would be great."
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︎ May 18 2021
Tried some viagra in the bedroom with my wife but it got stuck in my throat
I've had a stiff neck for a week
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Someone tried to tell me a rabbit joke
I told them I don't carrot all for rabbit jokes
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 03 2021
The Beatles tried recording an alphabet song....
But never made it past the Letter B Letter B Letter B Letter B
(Sing it you know you want to!)
π︎ 10
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︎ May 02 2021
Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Last night, I tried sticking a torch to my scalp.
It made me feel very light- headed.
π︎ 4
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︎ May 07 2021
I tried to make a joke about vaccines during the trump era
π︎ 49
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︎ Mar 13 2021
I tried to climb a really tall tower in France...
π︎ 172
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Have you ever tried blindfolded archery?
You donβt know what youβre missing
π︎ 313
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︎ Apr 09 2021
I tried to climb a really tall tower in France
π︎ 12
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︎ May 01 2021
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
When I was in Paris I tried to climb this tall tower
π︎ 15
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︎ May 04 2021
I tried to find a joke about carpentry
π︎ 30
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︎ Apr 05 2021
So I tried catching some fog today..
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 09 2021
I tried to climb a tall tower in France...
π︎ 14
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︎ May 08 2021
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