49 Hilarious I Tried Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography

Turns out I can’t focus!

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👤︎ u/substantiallypartial

📅︎ Apr 18 2021

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I tried to find a pun about carpentry

But nothing wood work

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👤︎ u/yeahdog

📅︎ Apr 04 2021

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I tried to tell a joke about a guillotine

I didn't execute it properly

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👤︎ u/WalterNewton

📅︎ Apr 21 2021

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I tried to catch the fog one day

But I mist

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👤︎ u/Godless902

📅︎ Apr 22 2021

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I tried to come up with a pun about carpentry, but it’s harder than it sounds.

Almost nothing wood work.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Apr 17 2021

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I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but he’s not buying it. In fact...

He’s still making fun of me...

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Apr 03 2021

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I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.

He has selfie steam issues.

👍︎ 5k

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👤︎ u/korabdrg

📅︎ Jan 23 2021

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I tried street racing once and lost.

I was out of breath after two blocks, but the street kept going for miles.

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👤︎ u/Dr_Wheuss

📅︎ Mar 13 2021

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I tried to tell my vaccinated friend a COVID joke.

But he didn't get it

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👤︎ u/majestic_walrus1

📅︎ Mar 30 2021

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I tried to make a joke about vaccines during the trump era

but no one got it.

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👤︎ u/IGotSkills

📅︎ Mar 13 2021

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I tried an Easter beer...

Too hoppy for me.

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👤︎ u/grandpathundercat

📅︎ Apr 04 2021

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I tried smoking pot once.

I choked on the handle.

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👤︎ u/DoomRulz

📅︎ Mar 24 2021

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I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...

It went in one ear and out of the other.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 21 2021

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I tried to become a stand up comedian, but it turns out that I am more of a "sit down" comedian.

After every joke I told, someone kept yelling "sit down"!

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👤︎ u/eatdrinkandbemariann

📅︎ Mar 29 2021

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I tried gluing my company's HR policies to myself, but they wouldn't stick...

I guess the rules don't apply to me.

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👤︎ u/shercroft

📅︎ Apr 19 2021

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I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.

>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.

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👤︎ u/psychpopnprogncore

📅︎ Feb 22 2021

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The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.

I hate long good buys.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Mar 21 2021

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I found a parasite in my Easter basket who tried telling me there was no God.

It was an egg ganache tick

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👤︎ u/PenguinWithAglock

📅︎ Apr 05 2021

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My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.

She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.

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👤︎ u/awesome_smokey

📅︎ Mar 18 2021

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I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back.

No body laughed at that time, but eventually everyone got it.

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👤︎ u/chihiro_yoru

📅︎ Jan 22 2021

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I tried running for the president

He got away

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👤︎ u/simpsonsdude

📅︎ Apr 11 2021

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I tried to write with a broken pencil

but it was pointless.

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👤︎ u/Alain389

📅︎ Apr 04 2021

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I tried to sort out wtahtoebucrldazy into an actual sentence

Then I realized “that would be crazy!”

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👤︎ u/Captbeauner

📅︎ Apr 10 2021

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I tried dating a communist, but it didn’t work out.

There were too many red flags.

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👤︎ u/white_mage_dot_exe

📅︎ Feb 04 2021

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I tried Earl grey today

It wasn’t my cup of tea

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👤︎ u/King_of_nerds77

📅︎ Mar 12 2021

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My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.

She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.

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👤︎ u/tilt-a-whirly-gig

📅︎ Mar 21 2021

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Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket

.. Only got 20%Off

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👤︎ u/LuisCAG

📅︎ Jan 15 2021

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Hey, at yeast I tried.

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👤︎ u/QuicklyThisWay

📅︎ Mar 04 2021

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So I'm not fat but I tried the rowing machine

And it sank

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👤︎ u/laurens54321

📅︎ Mar 21 2021

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I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it failed miserably.

Good players are hard to find.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Feb 06 2021

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I tried.

I kept my tone level and I didn’t raise my voice, but I begged and begged the chef to add some crumbled goat cheese to the recipe. But unfortunately it was too late as it had already gone into the oven.

It was a feta calm plea.

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👤︎ u/jamesianm

📅︎ Mar 05 2021

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I’ve waited five days and tried three times to post, Two men walk into a bar

Third one ducks

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👤︎ u/CaNy0uSpArEaDoLlAr

📅︎ Feb 25 2021

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I tried clog dancing this weekend.

Unfortunately the Drano kept burning my feet.

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👤︎ u/JoruusSkywalker

📅︎ Mar 09 2021

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I tried to make money as a sculptor,

but I could only get the heads right so I went bust.

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👤︎ u/Shu-di

📅︎ Feb 07 2021

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i tried to eat a clock yesterday.

It was quite time consuming.

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👤︎ u/agumeis

📅︎ Jan 28 2021

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I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage

I lost my case.

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👤︎ u/Merlin-5

📅︎ Jan 28 2021

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I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing...

But this is as close as I could get.

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👤︎ u/gaaraloveless

📅︎ Jan 17 2021

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I once dated a phlebotomist whom, when she tried to draw my blood, said "Be positive."

It was then I realized, she wasn't my type.

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👤︎ u/Venomenace

📅︎ Feb 25 2021

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I tried to rename a twig

It wouldn't stick

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👤︎ u/CarguyF1

📅︎ Mar 12 2021

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My wife's an artist so I tried to impress her by painting her picture but she just got really upset

I guess she liked how it looked originally.

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👤︎ u/lineworksboston

📅︎ Mar 08 2021

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I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.

I had in-cider information.

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👤︎ u/MelkorHimself

📅︎ Feb 26 2021

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I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital with my little kids...

...but they found me in the ICU.

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Mar 04 2021

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I really tried to get into watching dwarf MMA.

I just couldn’t, the fights were too short.

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👤︎ u/I_eat_unwiped_ass

📅︎ Mar 16 2021

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I tried calling the tinnitus help line.

There was no answer, it just kept ringing.

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👤︎ u/LongDecision1

📅︎ Feb 09 2021

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I tried to befriend a mushroom today

I heard he’s a fungi.

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👤︎ u/TheLaziestPotato

📅︎ Mar 16 2021

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I tried old spice today

Didn’t really improve my Chinese food

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👤︎ u/shshsvsveh

📅︎ Mar 06 2021

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I tried to find a joke about carpentry

But nothing wood work

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/Texgymratdad

📅︎ Apr 05 2021

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I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.

Good players are hard to find.

👍︎ 17k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Oct 05 2020

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I tried to catch some fog the other day

I mist.

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/whydoialwaysforget

📅︎ Mar 03 2021

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