49 Hilarious I Tried Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I tried donating blood today... NEVER AGAIN!!! Too many questions.

Like, "Who's blood is this?", "How did you get it?"

"Why is it in a bucket?"

👍︎ 6k

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👤︎ u/TwoMoreDays

📅︎ May 27 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography

Turns out I can’t focus!

👍︎ 4k

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👤︎ u/substantiallypartial

📅︎ Apr 18 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to make my login password "Beefstew"

But it wasn't stroganoff

👍︎ 337

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👤︎ u/JazzPhobic

📅︎ May 07 2021

🚨︎ report

When I was in France I tried to climb a huge tower

But Eiffel off

👍︎ 148

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👤︎ u/ArfanVAnulal

📅︎ May 06 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried being a vegetarian...

But realized it was a big missed steak

👍︎ 31

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👤︎ u/husapida

📅︎ May 13 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to find a pun about carpentry

But nothing wood work

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👤︎ u/yeahdog

📅︎ Apr 04 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried catching fog today...

... too bad I mist

👍︎ 48

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👤︎ u/LegAcyCoolBro

📅︎ May 09 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to think of a joke about superglue.

I got stuck.

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/WarCrimesinBelarus

📅︎ May 23 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to talk to my doctor about circumcision

He just talked in circles

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk

📅︎ May 22 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to tell a joke about a guillotine

I didn't execute it properly

👍︎ 32

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👤︎ u/WalterNewton

📅︎ Apr 21 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to catch the fog one day

But I mist

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/Godless902

📅︎ Apr 22 2021

🚨︎ report

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.

He has selfie steam issues.

👍︎ 5k

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👤︎ u/korabdrg

📅︎ Jan 23 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to come up with a pun about carpentry, but it’s harder than it sounds.

Almost nothing wood work.

👍︎ 22

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Apr 17 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but he’s not buying it. In fact...

He’s still making fun of me...

👍︎ 87

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Apr 03 2021

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I tried to find out what a proctologist was...

But I just couldn’t get to the bottom of it.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Hedwig505

📅︎ May 12 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to convince my wife to try this new Indian restaurant by telling her about the free appetizer.

She told me that was a naan starter.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/jimgolgari

📅︎ May 28 2021

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I tried making up a joke about unemployment...

...but it just didn't work.

👍︎ 32

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👤︎ u/Vin135mm

📅︎ May 06 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried skipping rope. But I ended up being tied up.

That was knot my intention.

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/SleepOrderDis

📅︎ May 08 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried street racing once and lost.

I was out of breath after two blocks, but the street kept going for miles.

👍︎ 62

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👤︎ u/Dr_Wheuss

📅︎ Mar 13 2021

🚨︎ report

I Tried to Make a Dam out of Paper...

But the seepage was too hard to control.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/The_Piano_Man72

📅︎ May 20 2021

🚨︎ report

Last year i went to paris and tried to climb the tallest building

But eiffel off

👍︎ 24

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👤︎ u/dhruv572

📅︎ May 04 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to tell my vaccinated friend a COVID joke.

But he didn't get it

👍︎ 27

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👤︎ u/majestic_walrus1

📅︎ Mar 30 2021

🚨︎ report

Last night, I tried sticking a torch to my scalp.

It made me feel very light- headed.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Bbew_Mot

📅︎ May 07 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to make a joke about vaccines during the trump era

but no one got it.

👍︎ 49

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👤︎ u/IGotSkills

📅︎ Mar 13 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...

It went in one ear and out of the other.

👍︎ 105

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 21 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried an Easter beer...

Too hoppy for me.

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/grandpathundercat

📅︎ Apr 04 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried smoking pot once.

I choked on the handle.

👍︎ 35

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👤︎ u/DoomRulz

📅︎ Mar 24 2021

🚨︎ report

I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.

>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/psychpopnprogncore

📅︎ Feb 22 2021

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I tried to become a stand up comedian, but it turns out that I am more of a "sit down" comedian.

After every joke I told, someone kept yelling "sit down"!

👍︎ 24

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👤︎ u/eatdrinkandbemariann

📅︎ Mar 29 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back.

No body laughed at that time, but eventually everyone got it.

👍︎ 291

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👤︎ u/chihiro_yoru

📅︎ Jan 22 2021

🚨︎ report

One time on a road trip we drove through Iowa and stopped at a farm around harvest time. I tried to speak to the farmer about buying some fresh corn 🌽 but he had no time for me.

“Sorry, mister,” he said. “I’m up to my ears in work.”

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/fladavpam

📅︎ Apr 26 2021

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The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.

I hate long good buys.

👍︎ 23

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Mar 21 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried telling a joke at prom but my audience seemed pretty bored...

I guess the punch line was too long.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/undercover723

📅︎ Apr 29 2021

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I tried gluing my company's HR policies to myself, but they wouldn't stick...

I guess the rules don't apply to me.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/shercroft

📅︎ Apr 19 2021

🚨︎ report

My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.

She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/awesome_smokey

📅︎ Mar 18 2021

🚨︎ report

I found a parasite in my Easter basket who tried telling me there was no God.

It was an egg ganache tick

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/PenguinWithAglock

📅︎ Apr 05 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried dating a communist, but it didn’t work out.

There were too many red flags.

👍︎ 169

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👤︎ u/white_mage_dot_exe

📅︎ Feb 04 2021

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Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket

.. Only got 20%Off

👍︎ 579

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👤︎ u/LuisCAG

📅︎ Jan 15 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.

Good players are hard to find.

👍︎ 17k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Oct 05 2020

🚨︎ report

I tried to write with a broken pencil

but it was pointless.

👍︎ 19

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👤︎ u/Alain389

📅︎ Apr 04 2021

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I tried running for the president

He got away

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/simpsonsdude

📅︎ Apr 11 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried Earl grey today

It wasn’t my cup of tea

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/King_of_nerds77

📅︎ Mar 12 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to sort out wtahtoebucrldazy into an actual sentence

Then I realized “that would be crazy!”

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Captbeauner

📅︎ Apr 10 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to climb a really tall tower in France...

...but Eiffel off.

👍︎ 170

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👤︎ u/wtb2612

📅︎ Apr 30 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to climb a really tall tower in France

But I Eiffel off

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs

📅︎ May 01 2021

🚨︎ report

When I was in Paris I tried to climb this tall tower

But Eiffel Off

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/Ginger-Beefcake

📅︎ May 04 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to find a joke about carpentry

But nothing wood work

👍︎ 30

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👤︎ u/Texgymratdad

📅︎ Apr 05 2021

🚨︎ report

So I tried catching some fog today..

Safe to say, I mist.

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/Doggo_AKA_JoeCool

📅︎ May 09 2021

🚨︎ report

I tried to climb a tall tower in France...

But then Eiffel off

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/jk1445

📅︎ May 08 2021

🚨︎ report