Reminder: Please don't include the punchline in the topic.

Howdy punsters!

Please remember when posting to /r/puns that the punchline should be in the post itself, not the topic. Puns should be self-explanatory. If you have to explain it, please do so in the comments. We've had a lot of puns lately, especially images, ruined before clicking on them when the whole thing was spoiled in the topic line.

Up to now, we've been assigning "for shame" flair when this happens, but it's become very common lately. As a result, posts with punchlines in the topic will be removed.

Thanks!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2018
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Let's not talk about operation barbarossa. That topic is very offensive
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/im_not_inevitable
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2021
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In an attempt to bring great pleasure to myself, I'll post controversial topics in white supremacist groups in the attempt to get funny reactions out of them.

I'm mass-turd-baiting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Klratz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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My wife's favorite topic is breasts.

She's always pointing them out to me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brokenbryan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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As a dad of boys, poop is always a solid conversation topic.

Sometimes, not so solid, either.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/astucker85
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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The hot topic in Paris at the moment
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ebzinho
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2020
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Pun war! The topic is food. If you have a pun comment it. I hope this will turnip good.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr_Potato12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2019
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The topic the teacher said will come out the exam be like
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/im_not_inevitable
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2019
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My favorite topic of conversation is the Mariana trench.

It always leads to the deepest discussion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sabretooth1100
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2019
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Why did the student Google all the topics related to his essay twice?

Because he was asked to research.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bleaknova
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2019
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What is the best way to segue to another topic?

I’m not sure but always wear a helmet on your Segway

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TaskReddit2019
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2019
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Pun-off 2017 -- Top level comments are the topic, children are the pun.

Example:

Top Level: FISH

Pun Level: I really like fish, but some people don't, they find them really icthy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sarah_Connor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2017
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After much work with my therapist, I learned what topics were triggering my bulimia

So now I won't be bringing that up any more

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2018
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Five years ago plastic surgery was a sensitive topic...

... but nowadays, when someone gets Botox, nobody raises an eyebrow!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Phatcat911
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2019
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My Dad’s a joke when it comes to political commentary, always branching off topic.

Do you like your Family’s Punditry?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GEEZusChristman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2019
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Hairy topic
πŸ‘οΈŽ 316
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/j0be
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2014
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On the topic of how scientists came up with the name Cillia

Scientist #1: I think we should name them something funny like doodoo strings

Scientist #2: Yeah, i think that’s pretty silly, but i think they should be called something more Cillia

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRockyRocks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2019
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I was talking to my dad and he abruptly changed the topic to Indian food

It was a real naan sequitur.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alpha_1100001
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2018
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There's a printed magazine for nearly every topic and subject, including all about fatherhood!

But it's just a crying shame none of them are called "Daddy Issues"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mohawk_ADE
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2018
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Tailgating probably isn't my favourite topic in the world.

But it's not far behind.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2018
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Topic: Perception

Sepp was a successful business man, who had married a known "gold digger" -- After Sepp's death, his eldest made claim to the estate, but his evil step mother told the lawyers "well that claim is just per Sepp's son"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sarah_Connor
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2017
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Did you hear about the girl who stopped going to hot topic?

She was never scene again.

 

source: hotelmarioshipslash

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/squiggleman4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2015
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How I got kicked out of Hot Topic.

At the mall shopping for a new back pack for my daughter to use at school when we a saw Doctor Who themed one. My wife questioned if it would be big enough to hold all of our daughter's books...

"Don't worry," I said. "It's bigger in the inside." Then I started laughing like a mad man.

And that is the story of how I got kicked out of Hot Topic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nategifford
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2015
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Dadjoked the guy in Hot Topic today...

... when he went to the back to find a phone case for my friend. He came back out and said, "sorry, no dice."

I said, "that's okay, we were looking for phone cases."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 122
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BitiumRibbon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2014
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Got dadjoked about my midterm topic

Dad: What's your midterm about?

Me: The ethics of euthanasia.

Dad: What about the old people in Asia.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DamWrights
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2014
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SO's dad and the topic of Miley Cyrus

Not my dad, but my SO's father is both a religious man and an intellectual, so pop culture is really not his thing.

However, whenever someone even mentions Miley Cyrus, he bursts into song, singing "I came in like a wreeeeeeecking baaaaall, 'cause I have no taleeeeeeeent at aaaaall." Then he just sits and waits for the applause.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flustercustard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2014
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reddit inside (dad) joke: How did the skatepark muralist respond to off-topic questions during his AMA?

"Guys, we're here to talk about ramp art"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_throwaway_natch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2017
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Dad on the topic of a two story house

I know our house only has one floor; we were going to have a second floor, but that's another story

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Redditisfullofliars
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2015
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This is completely off topic, but...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_Tys1_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2013
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No topic is safe.

http://imgur.com/nY2ZA71

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Vaiosony
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2016
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On the topic of baked goods

My uncle: "The baked goods at the Anderson's (local grocery store) are pretty good."

Me: "I guess that's why the call them baked "goods" and not baked "bads.""

I'm a 24 year old female and still got groans from my uncle and dad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kubricks_cube
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2015
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Somehow, we got on the topic of Chevy Chase's filmography

Coworker: "Didn't Fletch have that chase scene in it?"

Me: "I'd say it had a lot of Chase scenes."

I received a new personal record for eye rolls per single joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drummernv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2016
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I got my grandmother on the topic of Chinese destiny.

My grandmother was getting rid of a box of books, one of which was titled "I Ching." I asked her how to pronounce that word (like e-ching) after which she asked if I knew about it at all. I then responded with "No, but I am I Ching to hear about it!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShakesOfMilk
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2015
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My dad on the topic of my sisters party.

So I went to my parents place for dinner yesterday and my sister was feeling the after effects of a kegger she went to the day before with some friends. She was talking about how her friends younger siblings and their teenage friends were there as well, describing it as a "Joint party" between the siblings. To which my dad replies "Joint party? I thought you said it was a kegger"

My mother shook her head in disgust, my sister shook her head in shame, but my father and I shared a good chuckle, I am definitely my fathers son.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mighty_Cthulhu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2013
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Anytime the topic of movies comes up...

Me: "Oh, what's that movie about?" Dad: "I'd say its about 2 hours."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Bang_Yetis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2013
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While on the topic of gardening...

My dad and uncle are talking about gardening and my aunt chimes in about my uncle being terrible weeder. My uncle replies that it used to be a punishment when he was a kid, so he doesn't like to do it.

My dad replies, "When I was a kid, I was a good weeder. But I could never get through Gwapes of Wath,".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KarmasABitchIfYouAre
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2014
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I work at Hot Topic and an older customer dropped some dad jokes in the store today.

An old gentleman walked in with his family today.

I asked, "What are you guys up to?"

the man replied, "Well, I'm 5 foot 9, and my wife is 5 foot 6."

I laughed and told him, "Surely you can't be serious."

And he said, "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Reubek
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2014
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On topic: Celebrity Attractiveness

So, my parents were talking about whether a celebrity (who's name I didn't manage to catch) was attractive or not.

Mum: "Yeah, she's attractive, but she's a bit bipolar though" Dad: "That's okay just take her to the equator, and she'll be fine."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Xionkana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18 2013
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